What i want

I never thought this whole process would be so hard. You can guess my chagrin when I refer to marriage as a "process". Growing up on heavy doses of romantic movies, There were dreams of finding someone amid picturesque hills and valleys. Unfortunately, in the frantic bid to establish a career and standing on my own feet, a lot of my dreams have met the Grim Reaper; and one of those is that of meeting someone who will steal my heart away, right under my nose. The truth is, between an excrutiatingly busy career and a non existent social life, it has been impossible to meet someone. That is not to say, I have not tried the dating sites promise to find you the "one", but I think most of them are mirages that serve best to keep my hopes of finding a life partner alive but have so far not given me any tangible results. I used to think finding love would be an easy thing. Think about it. I am a attractive, good health, well educated.. a doctor, have a house, car, and a great family. A lot of girls would love to marry me. Well, I was so wrong. I had the fatally wrong notion that in the I could snap my fingers and get the girl I want. Anyways, years ago, I gave in to the pressure of my loneiness and got married and realized she never really did love me. I won't ever settle again. Needless to say, I haven’t really found someone I’m interested in, even after making a whole new commitment to putting myself out there. I always try to find the lesson in everything — the silver lining that will make it all make sense, that will make it all seem part of a grand scheme, or some predetermined fate that I can’t even begin to visualize yet. But really the only thing I’ve become convinced of is……dating can suck. It can honestly, really, really suck. It’s constant disappointment. It’s something being off even if you’re not quite sure what that something is. It’s trying to avoid the wolf underneath the sheep, and to find the sheep that’s hidden by your mesmerization with the wolf. It’s hoping for a someone you’re not entitled to meet just because you’re you. Frankly, it’s so exhausting But I think it's important to find love. I can't imagine what will replace not doing that, because I've done everything else I've wanted to. I think it's the sense of belonging I hanker after. Call it coincidence, destiny, fate, kismet—in one moment, lives can collide and change forever. Yet chance encounters aren't necessarily accidental; in fact, you can make your own luck by opening yourself to the world...and that is what i am doing now. I finally got to the point where I began to get at least a basic understanding of who I myself am and and the forces that made me what I am, I finally had the experience of meeting someone I loved purely for herself and not through the distorting mirror of my own psyche. For a variety of practical reasons it couldn't last long, but I remember one day in particular when we took a long walk by a river, when I had an overwhelming feeling of completeness, as though I had finally managed to accomplish something Nature had programmed me to do. And I felt very grateful for that experience, in many ways it didn't seem to matter how long it lasted, just to have had that day was everything. But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are.And to this one person..i can only say this to you: "I can offer you my life, I can offer you my heart, though I have no idea how many more beats it shall sustain. But I love you enough to hope that you will not care that I am being selfish in trying to make the rest of my life - whatever length - happy, by spending it with you. I want to be married to you, I want it more than I have ever wanted anything else in my life." "That is,if you love me, too.”

My perfect Sunday:

being with you

The movie I've watched the most times:

Before Sunset, Before Sunrise, A Matter of Life and Death

My life history in 5 sentences or fewer:

I want to improve myself everyday

My first concert / My dream concert:

Rick Springfield