Director of Product Strategy
How about we… order a slice of unbelievably delicious pie at Mission Pie, and then discuss the merits and failings of the world's most bad-@#$% dictators, all the time, surreptitiously casting glances around us to make sure that we're not being followed around by whatever secret service the current conspiracy theory we subscribe to tells us is stalking us. Other activities may involve criticizing my run on sentences.
My life history in 5 sentences or fewer:
My dream was always to be a night watchman at a spoon factory, so I majored in sociology. Now I work in game design at a small startup, which just goes to show that dreams don't always come true.
I secretly want to be:
I want to be with someone who wants to be:
I want a girl who is like a thorny flower amidst a vast and desolate wasteland that is at the center of an impenetrable castle guarded by zombie Nazis. And when I pick you, I'll cut my finger on one of your thorns, and then the head Zamzi will hand me a bandage and it'll have a little heart on it and you'll put in on my finger and then the Zamzis will do a little dance of joy and the castle will disintegrate, the wasteland will turn into a lily pond, and the Zamzis will all be hunted down and killed and we'll be sad... together.