An awesome place I've visited:

the omnisex lavatory at fishguard bowleg, the gentlemans outfitters in rickmansworth

My perfect Sunday:

mass, then din dins, then mass, then din dins, then beddy byes

The movie I've watched the most times:

Porky's

My life history in 5 sentences or fewer:

i was born of immaculate conception obviously. i was raised by wolves, hence my excellent table manners. i had a revelation while watching top gun and now follow the teachings of tom cruise. i cast out demons on weekends.

My first concert / My dream concert:

daniel o'donnell for both

Obscure knowledge I possess:

the alien race that makes up 90 percent of the priesthood

I have a weakness for guys/girls who:

lick me all over.

For me, a first date no-no is:

Getting fresh.

What I would bring to show and tell:

christ's left index finger knuckle

A story you should remind me to tell you on our first date:

the good samaritan

I secretly want to be:

a lady

I want to be with someone who wants to be:

with a lady

An infatuation of mine:

mary mary quite contrary

If I won the lottery and quit my job, I would:

embrace debauchery and found a new religion

One thing my mother would want you to know about me:

I am not real.

I want to come home to:

a house