Massage Therapist
How about we… explore the Paranormal Teen Romance section of the bookstore. We'll be wearing eyeliner and crucifixes, of course.
How about we… stage a Jenga championship where the winner gets $1,000,000. You bring the money. I'll bring the Jenga.
About Chabam
An awesome place I've visited:
Whole Foods in Belmar. What is it about this place that sucks awesome people into it? This happened: I asked a produce clerk if she liked honeycrisp apples. She asked if I'd ever tried one. I said no. She took out a knife, cut off a piece of a honeycrisp, and handed it to me. Then she ate the rest of the apple.
My perfect Sunday:
I'd find perfectly scented soap and candles. Then some Dubstep would come on over the PA. Yes, at the candle store. Then we'd all start dancing to the big fat beats. Then I'd notice that you didn't dance all that well, but you didn't care. Then you'd notice the same thing about me. Then we'd go argue about ice cream flavors. And we'd both win.
The movie I've watched the most times:
Annie. The musical from the 80s. It is perfect. PERFECT.
My life history in 5 sentences or fewer:
I was raised by an ordained Southern Baptist minister. But none of the shit he said made any sense. So I stopped hating gay people.
My first concert / My dream concert:
Let me tell you about the time I snuck into the Seal concert I already had tickets to. Best concert of my life.
Obscure knowledge I possess:
Michael Jackson expert
I have a weakness for guys/girls who:
are quick witted and fun
For me, a first date no-no is:
getting all serious and laying it all on the table. Let's hang out first yo. You have not been subpoenaed and this is not a deposition.
What I would bring to show and tell:
My shoe collection. Just to show a straight guy can have a shoe problem, too.
A story you should remind me to tell you on our first date:
The time I took the dog out to play fetch in the dark. No, the ball did not glow in the dark. Yes, we spent most of the time trying to find the ball.
I secretly want to be:
a Backstreet Boy
I want to be with someone who wants to be:
fun and lighthearted and happy
An infatuation of mine:
A strong woman with a sassy attitude. BRING IT.
If I won the lottery and quit my job, I would:
Hire Travis Payne, Wade Robson, and Princess DeJaynes as my personal dance trainers
One thing my mother would want you to know about me:
He's very silly. All the time. Try to keep up.
I want to come home to:
Someone who wants to go back out!
