Frequently Asked Questions

The Basics

What makes HowAboutWe different? How can I get the most out of my “HowAboutWe…” experience? What makes HowAboutWe profiles special? How can I invite my friends? I have an idea about how to make your site better. What should I do with it?

Subscription Benefits

Does HowAboutWe cost money? What can I do for free? What do I get when I upgrade? What are your subscription packages? Why do you charge at all? I mean, c'mon, OkCupid is free! If I upgrade, can other people message me for free?

Billing information and subscription settings

How do I deactivate my account? What happens when I deactivate? What is auto-renew? Can I turn auto-renew off? How can I unsubscribe from your mailing list? What is your refund policy? How can I change my billing information?

Your profile & account settings

How do I fill out my profile? How can I change my orientation and age preferences? What is the visitor count? How can I attract more visitors to my profile? How can I change my username?

Photos

How do I manage my photos? Are photos necessary? What are your photo requirements?

Posting & responding to dates

What makes a great date suggestion? What happens when I post a date? What happens when I click, “I'm intrigued?” What happens when I send a message in response to a date? Can I send a date to a specific user? What is the “Ask Out” button? What is the Date Ideas section? What if I write to someone and don't hear back? What is reposting?

Other Features

What happens when I favorite a date or profile? What happens if I hide a user? Can I unhide them? What is Speed Date? What is the Date Map? How can I organize my messages?

Safety & Privacy

What should I do if I see an inappropriate date or profile? Tell me about privacy. Who can see me on HowAboutWe? What do you do to make the site safe and private? My date was deleted. Why?

Mobile

Are you guys mobile? Do you have an app? How do you adjust settings within the iPhone app? How do you adjust settings within the Android app?

Technical

Which browsers are most compatible with HowAboutWe? I'm having technical issues but cannot find my answer here. What should I do? I may have discovered a security vulnerability. What do I do?

Business Stuff

What are the long-term plans for HowAboutWe? Are you guys interested in partnerships? Can I advertise on HowAboutWe? I love the Date Report. How can I become a contributor?

If your question is not answered here, feel free to email us at theteam@howaboutwe.com with your username and concern. If your issue is technical in nature, please include as much relevant information as possible including your issue, browser, device you are using, and error messages.

The Basics

What makes HowAboutWe different?

HowAboutWe is the OFFline Dating Site.

HowAboutWe is the only dating site that actually encourages you to spend less time online and more time meeting people in the real world by focusing on the date itself. Just say what you want to do, find someone who wants to go (or let them find you), and get offline.

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How can I get the most out of my “HowAboutWe…” experience?
  1. Sign up
  2. Post a date
  3. Fill out your profile in under 5 minutes
  4. Message the people you like
  5. Go out!

Remember, HowAboutWe is all about the dates! Posting more dates will make your profile appear in the date stream and search results more frequently. If you’re feeling stumped you can always check out the Date Ideas sections for popular ideas in your area!

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What makes HowAboutWe profiles special?

We designed a profile that would allow you to showcase your personality and basic info, while avoiding questions that are superficial, obvious, and misleading. In our view, things like eye color, body type and income are either (a) easy to figure out from pictures, (b) things that people tend to omit or exaggerate, and (c) trigger an overly aggressive “shopping mentality”. We want our profiles to focus on characteristics that will enhance the process of going on great dates. Over time, based on user feedback, we’ve added certain things to the profile like Race/Ethnicity and Children. You can also add custom questions to reveal telling details about your personality and interests.

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How can I invite my friends?

Visit our friend referral page and invite away! Why invite friends? Because:

  1. Your friends will get a percentage off
  2. Better dates = happier friends
  3. More people on the site means more people will join (and more dates for you!)

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I have an idea about how to make your site better. What should I do with it?

Email theteam@howaboutwe.com to submit your ideas and feedback. Thanks for helping us improve!


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Subscription Benefits

Does HowAboutWe cost money? What can I do for free?

As a free subscriber, you can:

  • Post dates
  • Browse dates and people
  • Receive recommended dates
  • Fill out your profile
  • Check out other profiles
  • Browse trending date ideas
  • Say “I'm intrigued”

Checking out HowAboutWe will give you a sense of things and help you decide if it’s for you. In order to gain full messaging capabilities and other benefits, you'll need to upgrade your account.

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What do I get when I upgrade?

Membership will get you more dates -- guaranteed. Member benefits include the ability to:

  • Send unlimited messages
  • Receive and read unlimited messages
  • Respond to your “intrigues”
  • Read new messages right in your email
  • See when your messages have been opened
  • Get featured as a subscriber on the search page
  • Receive top priority customer service
  • Get our 100% Offline Guarantee. If you don’t get offline on real dates by the end of your subscription, we’ll refund you.

We don’t want to interrupt your service and communication threads with other HowAboutWe members, so all memberships are set to auto-renew. If you’d prefer not to auto-renew, you have complete control over your renewal settings in your Settings page.

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What are your subscription packages?

We offer various membership packages that fit with your lifestyle. The 6-month package is the most popular and the 12-month package is the best value. Memberships are purchased upfront with one lump sum. If you prefer to pay month-to-month, please select the 1-month subscription.

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Why do you charge at all? I mean, c'mon, OkCupid is free!

Above all, we charge because we think it makes the site better for the people using it. When users are paying, they are more committed to really using the site, which means that there aren't a lot of people whose profiles you can check out but who actually aren't using HowAboutWe or aren't serious about dating. Making HowAboutWe a paid service also discourages sketchy folks from joining. We also charge because we think that the site is offering something of real value -- an innovative way for people to meet and go on great dates.

All of this said, we do everything we can to keep the price of subscribing low. If you sign up for 6 months, it’s about the price of a movie ticket per month.

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If I upgrade, can other people message me for free?

Not currently. You must be an upgraded member to receive and send messages.

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Billing information and subscription settings

How do I deactivate my account?

While we'll be sad to see you go, you can deactivate your account by going to the Settings area and scrolling down to Account at the bottom of the page.

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What happens when I deactivate?

Once you deactivate, your profile is no longer visible to other members and your paid subscription is canceled, if you have one. Your profile will remain invisible unless you decide to reactivate at any point. Please note, if you deactivate with a paid subscription, you forfeit the remainder of your subscription and cannot use that unused time upon reactivation or be reimbursed for it.

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What is auto-renew? Can I turn auto-renew off?

For your convenience, all accounts are set on auto-renew. If you’d like to turn this off, simply change your status in your Settings under Account, where it says “adjust your account or subscription settings”. Otherwise, your subscription will be automatically extended for the same length of time as your original subscription length, at the current subscription rate.

App subscribers must adjust their subscription settings in-app. Click here for detailed instructions.

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How can I unsubscribe from your mailing list?

Your email notifications can be removed or adjusted by clicking on “Email Settings” at the bottom of any HowAboutWe email or visiting your Settings.

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What is your refund policy?

You are eligible for a refund within 3 days of any transaction. If you’d like a refund, please email us at refund@howaboutwe.com with the reason for your refund request. Refunds are reflected in your account within 5 business days.

Auto-renewal fees are not refunded if requested more than 3 days after billing. If you wish to turn off auto-renew, simply visit Settings and adjust your account on the bottom.

If you deactivate your account before your subscription term has ended, you forfeit the remainder of your subscription term, and will not be refunded for the unused time.

Please note, per Apple’s developer restrictions, we cannot issue refunds for iTunes purchases. Click here for instructions on how to cancel your subscription in-app and request a refund from Apple.

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How can I change my billing information?

You can change your billing information at any time under Settings and “Subscription Status”.

Your profile & account settings

How do I fill out my profile?

You can add/edit info by visiting your profile at any time. Click the pencils to answer the questions and upload pictures in the “My Photos” section. Remember -- put your best foot forward. The more complete your profile, the more responses you’ll get. Let people get to know you!

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How can I change my orientation and age preferences?

Go to your Account Settings, then click on the Dating Preferences tab. There, you can select the age range and gender of your desired dates.

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What is the visitor count?

When you visit someone else’s profile, we let them know that you were checking them out. Then they can message you or ask you out if they wish. And don’t worry, if you visit someone’s profile multiple times, you’ll only be shown once.

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How can I attract more visitors to my profile?

The best way to drive more traffic to your profile is to keep posting dates. Whenever you think of a fun activity, go ahead and post it! This will keep your profile consistently appearing in the date stream, which is the first place people look when they enter the site. Having varied dates that show off your range of interests also means that you’ll appear in more search results. Have fun with it!

It’s also important to upload up-to-date photos and take the time to craft thoughtful answers to your profile questions. Your profile is your first impression - make it count!

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How can I change my username?

We are happy to change your username for you. Simply email theteam@howaboutwe.com and we will send you further information. Because your username is public, it's not advisable to include any personal information.

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Photos

How do I manage my photos?

You can upload a photo by visiting your profile and scrolling down to the “My Photos” section. From there, select “Upload a Photo” from your computer or import from Facebook. Be sure to upload a variety of photos. The more photos you post, the better your chances of getting responses. You must have at least one photo to be shown to other users.

When you scroll over a picture, you also have the option to delete that image or make it your profile picture.

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Are photos necessary?

Yes! We don’t show picture-less profiles in the date stream, meaning you'll barely get any responses. The more pictures you post, the better. People who have at least three photos get twice as many messages as people with only one photo.

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What are your photo requirements?

Make sure you put your best digital foot forward and upload clear, up-to-date photos. We accept JPEG, GIF and PNG files under 10MB. Make sure your photos are cropped before you upload them. For best results in your user thumbnail, keep your face in the upper left corner. Obviously, any pictures that are not of you or are offensive are not allowed and will be deleted.

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Posting & responding to dates

What makes a great date suggestion?
  • Suggest something that you'd actually like to do. You'll have a better time and you're much more likely to connect with someone who you'll really get along with.
  • Be specific. You'll get more responses with: “How About We… go see The Godfather at this awesome little art house theater I know,” than “How About We… see a movie.”
  • Don't stress. It's not a test. Just pick an activity that sounds interesting to you and post it. Post a date anytime the thought pops in your head.

For more helpful tips, visit our Online Dating 101.

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What happens when I post a date?
When you post a date, two things happen.
  1. Other users can then find it in their date stream or by searching for dates;
  2. We use our matching algorithm to send your date via email to people who might like it.

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What happens when I click, “I'm intrigued?”

When you click “I'm Intrigued,” we send a short message to that user letting him or her know that you are intrigued by their date. Intrigues let people know you’re interested, so you can start a more serious conversation through messaging later on.

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What happens when I send a message in response to a date?

When you send a message, it goes to the user you sent it to through our messaging system. That person may also get an email message saying that he or she has a new message on HowAboutWe. Neither your email address nor the email address of the user you are sending a message to are ever revealed in this process.

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Can I send a date to a specific user? What is the “Ask Out” button?

If you click the “Ask him/her out” button, you can send another user a private date. In this case, ONLY that user sees the date -- no one else does. These get delivered just like messages. You can see all of these dates in the Private Dates tab in your profile.

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What is the Date Ideas section?

The Date Ideas section is a dater's gold mine. Here, we’ve compiled all the top date ideas from around the country and in your neighborhood. Go ahead and repost these dates by clicking “Like”, or use them as inspiration in creating your own dates. Need a warm weather date? A holiday date? A popular, sure-to-please date? This is the place to go.

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What if I write to someone and don't hear back?

Don’t worry about it! The key is to stay active. Post more dates, browse date ideas, and respond to people you like. Paid subscribers can also look at the “Subscribers You Might Like” sidebar for other users who have messaging privileges.

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What is reposting?

When you repost a date, you are posting another person’s date idea -- from you. When someone sees your post, they’ll be able to respond to that idea.

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Other Features

What happens when I favorite a date or profile?

Clicking “Favorite” in a profile or the star on a specific date will bookmark it for later. When you f avorite a date or profile, the other user will not be notified.

You can find your saved items in the “Favorites” section of your account.

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What happens if I hide a user? Can I unhide them?

If you’d rather not see a particular user, you can click “Hide” in that person’s profile, or click the X on any date. When you do this, you will no longer see that person’s dates or messages.

All your hidden people are listed in the Dating Preferences area of your Account Settings and can be unhidden on this page as well.

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What is Speed Date?

Speed Date is a fun game in which you can quickly express interest in going on suggested dates. Try Speed Date by clicking the “Play” tab on the top of your home screen. You can let other users know you’re intrigued, and if you’re not interested, they’ll never know.

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What is the Date Map?

The Date Map is an easy way to find dates near you. Dates are located based on the location provided by the user that posted the date. If you don’t want your date to appear on the Date Map, don’t worry! Dates that are not tagged with a location will not appear on the map.

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How can I organize my messages?

We have a host of features that help you focus on the messages and users you want. You can delete, archive, or mark messages as unread from your inbox and within a message thread. You can also choose to hide certain messages, like “intrigues” and those from users more than 150 miles away, without a photo, and/or outside of your specified age range.

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Safety & Privacy

What should I do if I see an inappropriate date or profile?

First, we’re sorry you encountered this. To tell us about possibly inappropriate dates, you can click on the X icon in the date and select “Report as Spam.” You can also click “Report” on any person’s profile. When you do this, we are immediately alerted and a customer service associate will immediately address the issue.

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Tell me about privacy. Who can see me on HowAboutWe?

To make your profile private, and thus only viewable by users logged into HowAboutWe, visit the Settings page and select “Only let people who are signed into HowAboutWe view my profile”.

Date Ideas and the Date Report are public by default, so if you have commented or liked items in those areas, anyone can see those contributions.

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What do you do to make the site safe and private?

Our #1 priority is creating a safe, fun, and positive environment for our community. We take user protection extremely seriously. We’ve designed a multi-tiered strategy to enforce this, including:

  • We ask that all date proposals take place in public places.
  • We ask people to flag suspicious date proposals, profiles, and messages so that we can investigate them immediately. This includes requests for money, efforts to sell you anything, job offers or any other “special opportunity”, harassment or offensive messages, proposals of non-public or sexual dates, inappropriate photos, or anything else that violates our Terms of Use.
  • We've built a sophisticated automated defense system that flags suspicious behavior with a spectrum of triggers that include messaging frequency, IP address, and verbiage.
  • We charge for subscriptions that require credit card payment through our third-party payment processor.
  • We try to create a general tone of safety, authenticity, and positivism.
  • We delete or disable accounts that violate our Terms of Use.

Note: We do not currently conduct criminal background checks on users.

Of course, as with everything on the Internet, we ask that you exercise caution when disclosing personal information and meeting people. For more details, see our Online Dating Safety Tips.

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My date was deleted. Why?

We screen dates so that we can keep the community positive, safe, and focused on great off-site connections. Dates that do not follow our date guidelines will be removed. Please be sure that your date:

  • Describes an actual date idea -- a place you'd like to go or an activity you'd like to do.
  • Takes place in public.
  • Does not contain any sexual or profane content.
  • Does not include personal contact information.

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Mobile

Are you guys mobile? Do you have an app?

Yes! Stay active on HowAboutWe with our mobile site or our free iPhone App, Android app, or iPad app, which let you find and respond to dates on-the-go.

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How do you adjust settings within the iPhone app?

If you signed up for HowAboutWe in our app, you must turn off auto-renew within the app, not the website. Click here for detailed instructions.

Because of Apple's security restrictions, we are unable to refund payments made via iTunes. Please contact Apple to request a refund.

If you’d like to deactivate your account, you must sign into the Settings area on the website, not the app.

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How do you adjust settings within the Android app?

If you signed up for HowAboutWe in our app, you must turn off auto-renew within the app, not the website.

To cancel on the device, open the Google Play Store application and tap Menu > My Apps > HowAboutWe Dating. Subscriptions will be listed at the top of the page. Tap "Cancel" to turn off auto-renew.

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Technical

Which browsers are most compatible with HowAboutWe?

Whenever possible, HowAboutWe is best experienced using Google Chrome or Safari. If you are using Internet Explorer 6 or 7, you must upgrade your browser to a more recent version.

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I'm having technical issues but cannot find my answer here. What should I do?

If you're having a technical problem, please provide as much information as possible at theteam@howaboutwe.com. “Not working” oftentimes doesn’t cut it. These details will help us resolve your issue more effectively:

  • Internet browser
  • Screenshots of issue
  • Error messages
  • What you are not able to access/see
  • Are you accessing HowAboutWe from a computer? iPhone? Android device? iPad?

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I may have discovered a security vulnerability. What do I do?

You can report a bug or vulnerability via our Responsible Disclosure Policy. We'll make every effort to investigate and correct the issue.


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Business Stuff

What are the long-term plans for HowAboutWe?

We want HowAboutWe to help define love in our time. If we do a great job, then millions of people will start their relationships with a HowAboutWe date -- what an amazing way for love to begin. To make this happen, we're constantly improving our site, building new features, and finding ways to get awesome people to join.

In that vein, please email theteam@howaboutwe.com to let us know where you think we can improve. And help us spread the word by inviting your friends and talking about HowAboutWe.

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Are you guys interested in partnerships?

Yes. We want to build partnerships with services that will help make the HowAboutWe experience better for our users. And we want to build partnerships with people who can share the HowAboutWe idea with lots of people. If you have an idea for a partnership, contact us at theteam@howaboutwe.com.

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Can I advertise on HowAboutWe?

Users on HowAboutWe are constantly posting and going on dates. Our site has a database of great date ideas that our users can post with a single click. If you are in this database and your establishment or event is a great date, people will post it. It’s an awesome, organic way to advertise, and for now, it’s free. In return, we ask that you please spread the word about the date on HowAboutWe featuring your business. Just email us at theteam@howaboutwe.com and we'll talk.

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I love the Date Report. How can I become a contributor?

Please send pitches and links to writing samples to editorial@howaboutwe.com

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