General
How does it work?
The whole thing is based on dates. Dates for You and Dates from You.
On the Dates for You side, each day we'll send you dates to check out. You can also browse through all the dates people have proposed under SEARCH DATES. You can see the profiles of the people who proposed the dates you like and then message people. If they like you, they'll message you back. You two can work out the details and go on the date.
On the Dates from You side, you can propose dates doing things you want to do. The opening of a new art flick. A restaurant you want to check out. Visiting Sotheby's before an auction. Painting the city landscape from a rooftop. You name it. Each day we'll send your date proposals to people who might like them. Plus, people can find it when they are browsing dates. If someone likes a date you've proposed, they can check out your profile and message you.
There are a few extras:
- Daters for You - a stream of people on your homepage to whom you can send dates directly
- The Datetropolis - suggested pre-designed dates in your area that you can propose with a single click
- The Date Report - curated blog material, (some of which) illumines culture through the lens of dating.
How do I know if HowAboutWe is right for me?
On HowAboutWe you get to ask people out on dates you want to go on and you get asked out on dates other people want to go on. You connect with people who like what you like. If you’re into this idea, HowAboutWe is for you.
It's right for you if you think dating should be fun, creative, straightforward, and not a huge, dreadful waste of time.
It's good for outgoing people and people who don't like being outgoing.
It’s good for people who are amazing at thinking of date ideas and people who have no date ideas at all.
It’s good for people with lots of experience online dating and for people who have never online dated and never thought they would (until they found HowAboutWe, obviously.)
Yep. If you're single, it's probably right for you. Try it and see.
How can I get the most out of my "How About We..." experience?
Propose great dates... dates you'd really like to go on. Go out with people you think you might like. Have fun. Do it again. HowAboutWe is not about endless online chat relationships. It's about dating. It’s about going online to get offline. It's about connecting with great people while doing things you like doing. Go for it, one date at a time.
How do you compare to other sites?
We've structured online dating in a unique way. The basic currency of our site is the date itself. It's amazing that this hasn't really been done before. Here are some reasons we think it's better:
- It gives you more insight into what people are really like because they're saying what they actually want to do.
- It helps you find people with whom you share common life passions.
- It transcends some of the negative stigma about online dating, making it shame-free.
- It allows you to do the things you'd want to do anyway. So, even if the match is a bust, you still got to see the gallery opening you'd been meaning to see, or you still did that grocery shopping you had to do (yup, the errand date).
- It's a better way for people living in cities to meet.
What are your long-term plans for HowAboutWe?
We want HowAboutWe to serve and help to define a new-school romance, one that really coheres with the culture of our time. It's time for a change in the way we date. For HowAboutWe to do its part, we're going to make the site better and better for its users. We plan to build more features, mobile applications, integration with social networking sites, etc. Please help us spread the word by inviting your friends and talking about HowAboutWe. And use the feedback button to let us know what new features you’d like to see on the site.
What is beta?
It just means that our site is new and so we're still ironing out the kinks and looking for lots of feedback about how to improve the user's experience. For example, if you find yourself receiving hundreds of dates from one suspicious looking troll-like person, well, that's a bug in the system and we'd appreciate it if you let us know by using the feedback button. We'll try to fix it right away.
I live in _____ (city other than New York) and I want to join! What do I do?
Please sign up! We’ll let you know when we expand to your city. Then you can invite all your friends, they'll invite theirs and things will get moving.
Sending and Receiving Dates
How do you decide which dates to send to whom? Like, do you have a matching system?
When you propose a date, it gets sent to people who might like it. There's no magic here. We take all the data you give us -- your rating of different dates, where you live, your age, etc...and then plug that info into a computer program. We designed the program with the goal of sending each date to the people who are most likely to like it. Most of it's obvious - e.g., if you're a straight guy we're only going to send you dates proposed by straight women. Some is based on the idea that like attracts like - e.g. if you say you never smoke we'll be more likely to match you with other non-smokers. Over time the equation will also be based on how you use the system -- e.g., if you always delete dessert dates, we're going to send you fewer dessert dates. We're constantly assessing the algorithm and trying to make it work better for you. You can also browse through all the dates in the system and propose dates to specific people.
What makes for a great date proposal?
- Say what you'd really have fun doing
- Be creative
- Be descriptive
- Don't over-think it
- Get going
Profile
Why don't you ask more questions on the profile - like about eye color and income?
We tried to design a profile that would allow you to tell people something about yourself while avoiding the kinds of dehumanizing, misleading, and superficial questions that too often litter other dating sites. Eye color, body type - honestly, just look closely at people's photos: you can usually tell. Income: something like 80% of people online say they make over 100K a year, but only like 10% of them really do. It's a meaningless question. Check out what they do for work and their education level - that's much more telling.
Propose, Respond, and I'm Intrigued
What happens when I propose a date?
When you propose a date, two things happen. 1) It is entered into our database for people to find when they are browsing dates. If you create a Brunch date in Manhattan, someone searching for such dates will find it. 2) We send it to people who might like it. (See "How do you decide which dates to send to who?")
What happens when I send a message?
When you send a message, it goes to the person you sent it to through our mail system. That person will also get an email message in their personal email account saying they have new HowAboutWe mail. Your email address is never revealed in this process.
What happens when I click, "I'm Intrigued"?
We send a little note to the person saying that you are intrigued by their date (or by them!) The note comes from you, so they can just respond back directly.
What if I like the person but don't like their date?
Go to their profile and check out the other dates they've proposed. You could also message them and counter propose another date.
What if I write to someone and don't hear back?
Keep at it. It happens all the time. No issue. Write to someone else. Propose a new date.
Flagging, Deleting Dates and Bookmarking
What do the little flag, X and star mean?
If you click the flag we get a notification saying that there is an unsavory date in the system. If you click the X that date is deleted from your stream. If you click the star the date is bookmarked so you can find it later. You can find it in the SEARCH DATES section under "Specials".
Datetropolis
What is the Datetropolis?
As Athens was to the Greek city-state, so Datetropolis is to... um, anyway. It is a city-state of dates. It's the place on our site where great date ideas convene and make themselves available for you to propose with a single click.
Can I add to the Datetropolis?
Yes, you can. Just go to the Datetropolis and click the applicable button there.
Settings
Can I change my username?
If you want to change your username just email us at theteam@howaboutwe.com and give us a few options for what you'd like to change it to.
Can I delete my account?
Yes, you can...but we'll be sad to see you go. Just go to the settings area - you can do it from there.
Feedback
I have an idea about how to make your site better. What should I do with it?
I love it! How can I share my experience?
I hate it! How can I share my experience?
We welcome any and all feedback. Just go to the feedback area and let us know.
Technology
In what language is your site built?
Ruby on Rails
Servers, Databases, Scaling?
It should be fine. Invite your friends, please.
Money
Does it cost money? (And can I do anything for free?)
You can check out the site for free - you can propose dates, browse dates, receive daily dates, check out people’s profiles, and saying "I'm Intrigued.". You can peruse the Datetropolis. And you can read the Date Report. This will give you a sense of things and help you decide if it's for you. In order to message other people (and therefore in order to actually go on dates) you'll need to subscribe.
How much?
It depends on how many months you sign up for. The best deal is to sign up for 6 months at $8 a month. 3 months=$10 a month. 1 month is $16. We're pretty much the most affordable pay site out there.
Why do you charge at all?
Above all, we charge because we think it makes the site better for the people using it.
When people are paying, they are more committed to really using the site - so there aren't tons of random people whose profiles you can check out but who actually aren't using the site.
Making it a pay site stops a lot of sketchy folks from joining.
We also charge because we think that the site is offering something of real value - an innovative way for people to meet and go on great dates.
We really don't like websites covered in ads. Go check out plentyoffish.com to see what we're trying to avoid. Charging makes this possible.
All of this said, we do everything we can to keep the price of subscribing low.
A final note here: we (that is, all single employees) pay for our own membership on the site just like everyone else.
What's the deal with giving to a charity?
This Life, Inc. is a for-profit business that actively supports non-profits and causes that make the world a better, more beautiful place. When you subscribe to HowAboutWe you get to choose a non-profit that you'd like us to support when we're making donations. You can also suggest other non-profits to add to our list of options.
Date Rewards
What's the Date Rewards points thing all about?
Basically, we'll send you a $100 check to reward you for being active on the site, and particularly for inviting other people to join. Get 1,000 points and we send you $100. Done. To learn how to earn points - just go to your home page and you'll get prompted to do the stuff that gets you points. Hint: The fastest way is definitely to get all your friends to subscribe. Just saying.
Also of note: we maintain the right to reduce or change your points score at any time and/or to not provide date rewards if you seek to gain points by emailing non-valid email addresses (including but not limited to emails to yourself or dead email addresses).
Safety and Privacy
What do you do to make the site safe?
We ask that all date proposals take place in public places.
We ask people to flag sketchy date proposals and messages so that we can deal with them. This includes people who request money, try to sell you anything, try to offer you a job or any other "special opportunity," send harassing or offensive emails, propose sexual or non-public dates, use inappropriate photos, or violate any other HowAboutWe.com policy.
We also have a filtering system that tells us when people are doing bad things...it doesn't always catch everything, but it catches a lot.
We charge money and require that people pay with credit cards. This makes it harder for people to use fake identities.
We try to create a general tone of safety, authenticity, and positivism.
We kick shady people off our site.
What do you do to make the site private?
We do all sorts of techy things to make sure the site is like an impenetrable crystal vault.
What should I do if I see something inappropriate on the site?
Click on the flag icon. The flag icon can be found in each date proposal, on each person's profile, and on each message. It can also be found in commenting areas. We'll review flagged content and try to take care of the issue. Please help us keep the site clean and safe.
Who can see me on HowAboutWe?
Only people who are signed up to HowAboutWe can see your profile, your date proposals, etc. People who come directly to visit the datetropolis to get date ideas or to the date report to read dating content will be able to see you if you have commented or liked things there.
Businesses
Why should I promote my business through HowAboutWe.com?
Users on HowAboutWe are constantly proposing and going on dates. Our site has a database of great date ideas that our users can propose with a single click. If you are in this database and your establishment or event is a great date, people will propose it. It's an awesome way of advertising. And for now, it's free. (In return, please spread the word that you have a date on HowAboutWe)
How can I promote my business through HowAboutWe?
Just email us at theteam@howaboutwe.com and we'll talk.
Can I advertise on HowAboutWe?
At this time, proposing dates at your establishment is the only way you can "advertise" on HowAboutWe.com.
Are you guys at "How about we... interested in partnerships?
Yes. We want to build partnerships with services that will help make the HowAboutWe experience better for our users. And we want to build partnerships with people who can share the HowAboutWe idea with lots of people. So if you have an idea for a partnership, contact us at theteam@howaboutwe.com.
Inviting Friends
How do I get my friends to join?
Invite them. They'll love it! You'll have fun conversations over brunch about your HowAboutWe dates. You'll hear about a cool event and be like, "Oh, that's a good HowAboutWe"
You can invite friends from facebook, through your email account, by tweeting about HowAboutWe or by sending individual emails.
There's a link on your homepage for inviting friends. You can also do it here.