Arguably, there’s no bad way to have sex: it’s an animal instinct, after all, and as long as you’ve got the very basic physiological gist of it, it’s virtually impossible to screw it up. Additionally, it takes all sorts to make the world,  so chances are if you have some off-the-wall sexual proclivity, so will someone else in the world. There really is no “strange” or “bad” when it comes to sex, so long as its consensual (duh) and both parties are having a good time.

When people throw around the term “bad in bed”, it can usually be attributed to either a couple being sexually incompatible (you simply like different things!) or, it can often be tied directly to a perceived lack of enthusiasm, poor communication, or selfishness.

 

So this isn’t going to be a list about what positions to avoid, but rather a list of behaviors that often transform great sexual experiences into tepid ones.

A good thing to remember is that we could probably come up with a thousand-item list on how to be good in bed. When it comes to things that are universally bad, there are pretty much only 10.

Related: When It Comes to Bad Sex, It’s 3 Strikes, You’re Out

1

Acting Bored

One of the pleasures of sex, versus, say, masturbation, is that you’re supposedly doing it with someone else who is also having a good time. Getting the impression that you’d rather be watching The Daily Show does not do wonders for our performance, or our self esteem.

2

Not Reciprocating

Oh, was it good for you? YEAH, I COULD TELL. Now how about giving someone else a turn?

Related: 13 Signs He’s a Selfish Lover

3

Asking Too Many Questions

“Is this ok?” “Is this?” “Is this?” “How’s this?” “Is this good for you?” “Do you like this?” “This?” We appreciate you checking in every once in a while, but the constant interrogation is so not sexy.

4

Starfish

Starfishing is when you just sort of lie back and let the other person do all the work. Annoying! Don’t treat sex like an automatic car wash, please!

5

Stopping to Answer Your Phone

If you do this, you don’t even deserve to get laid.

6

Dead Silence

There’s a big difference between keeping quiet so as not to disturb the roommates, and keeping quiet to the point of making your partner want to check your pulse. So creepy.

Related: 6 Tips for an Awesome Quickie

7

Commenting on Your Partner’s Body

Unless your comment is, “My god, you’re sexy,” then saying anything while your partner is naked and vulnerable is a big, big no-no.

8

Being Distractingly Shy

You’re great! You look great. Your partner is no doubt stoked to be having sex with you. It’s ok if the bedsheet isn’t covering you every second. Try not to let self-consciousness get too in the way of having a good time!

9

Talking About How Someone Else Did It

Really probably the last thing someone is interested in hearing about while having sex.

10

Not Talking About Protection Beforehand

When you assume (that the other person is clean/on birth control), you make an ass out of you and me. And even worse, run the risk of STDs and pregnancy! Always, always, always check in!

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