Why ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part 2′ is a Great Date Movie (No, Really)by Lindsey Weber and Bobby Finger on November 16, 2012
Bobby: Hey Lindsey!
Lindsey: HEY BOBBY, how TIRED were you this AM?
Bobby: I snoozed so many times. How tired were YOU?
Lindsey: EXHAUSTED and I think I’m partially blinded?
Bobby: Ah yes, we were so close to the screen. My neck still kind of hurts. I’m too tall for second row seats to be remotely comfortable.
Lindsey: Conceptually, it was a great idea. But so were those 6+ margaritas. We should probably explain what we’re talking about. To everyone in the KNOW, the only movie you should be thinking about this weekend is Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part 2.
Bobby: Oh definitely. It’s the choice for a first date, a second date, a 100th date, or your last date. Fall in love to this movie. Break up to this movie. LIVE to this movie.
Lindsey: Get drunk during this movie?
Bobby: That’s a requirement.
Lindsey: I must admit I enjoyed Breaking Dawn — Part 1 more, but it DID have more sex. This particular film had more……..decapitation?
Bobby: It had a whole lot of nothing, and then LOADS of decapitation. It also had Lee Pace! And who doesn’t love Lee Pace?
Lindsey: Setting a good example for romance stories across the globe.
Bobby: So Lindsey, why do you think this is the best date movie of the week? Why is it the only movie we’ve chosen to discuss?
Lindsey: Well firstly, we saw it. And secondly, this is a HUGE deal. This FOUR MOVIE thing that has taken the world by STORM is finally coming to an end. What will we do without the romance of Bella&Edward leading us?
Bobby: It’s a FIVE movie thing, number one. So it’s even MORE culturally significant. Yes, it’s a huge deal. It’s the kind of romance that comes along once every thousand years. Their sex was so good, it broke BEDROOMS. Not just beds, but BEDROOMS. AND Their love survived a VERY PUBLIC cheating scandal.
Lindsey: Bobby, that’s their IRL love.
Bobby: I know, but it’s the same love. It’s real love, as Mary J Blige says.
Lindsey: And that’s the main thing! We LOVE LOVE LOVE when couples date IRL and on the big screen. It’s literally our greatest joy as a culture.
Bobby: Yes, I BELIEVE that it’s a love that comes lasts (as the end credits song says) for 1000 years. Because I BELIEVE in Robert and Kristen. The movie, for all its ridiculousness, has a REAL LOVE at its heart. (It also had Lee Pace. And we should never forget Lee Pace. Ever.)
Lindsey: HAHA It’s also based on a book so, READ!
Bobby: Yes! It promotes literacy! How wonderful!
Lindsey: How will the epic romance of B&E be remembered? Is it a love worth aspiring to?
Bobby: In all seriousness, it’s a dumb series, but B&E will be remembered as one of the great cinematic romances out of sheer absurdity. People will NOT FORGET the 5-part shitshow that was The Twilight Saga, and the final entry sealed that deal.
Lindsey: You are correct 100%, sadly. But the question remains, can you really get pregnant with a demon after having sex for the first time?
Bobby: Apparently you can! And apparently the resulting baby is very attractive to wolves.
Lindsey: Romeo & Juliet, Bella & Edward. Okay, speaking of! That really disturbed me! The wolf boy (who was previously in love with Bella) fell in love with/imprinted/SAME THING upon her CHILD?!?!?! Who was a baby?!?!?!
Bobby: Yes, it’s terrifying and gross and great post-movie conversation. “Oh [Date's name], would you ever leave me for a half human half vampire CGI baby?” If your date says yes, dump them.
Lindsey: MY BABY. WOULD YOU LEAVE ME FOR MY BABY? OUR BABY? Ugh, I can’t. Although worth noting: If you can’t have your one true love just WAIT for them to have a kid.
Bobby: Yes! Great moral.
Lindsey: We’re always learning.
Bobby: But honestly, this is a great date movie for so many reasons. It works for Twihards, for people who enjoy it ironically, and for people who only want to see it because it’s a pop culture event.
Lindsey: I agree! It’s an awesome conversation piece on every level. And the basis of a date is a GOOD conversation piece. And if the movie theater has a nearby Chili’s, there’s a fantastic 2 meals for $20 deal.
Bobby: Yes! It’s not just a date. It’s a date NIGHT. May you and your date’s love last as long as Bella and Edwards. And may you never fall in love with a CGI baby.
Lindsey: May you enjoy your 2-for-1 drink deal and 2 Meals For $20 deal. (Chilli’s please get in touch.)
Lindsey Weber is a writer living in Brooklyn and her favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is when Dave Chappelle calls Meg Ryan “fine.”
Bobby Finger is (also) a writer living in a Brooklyn and his favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is anytime Steve Zahn enters a scene.