Turns Out, Dating Feels Like A Lot Of Workby Nikki Metzgar on May 09, 2012
Editor’s note: In case you missed them, catch up on Nikki’s previous Dating Diaries posts here.
Of all the reasons I go on dates, 85% of my motivation is out of a sense of duty to my singledom and the remaining 15% is because it’s fun.
Meaning that a lot of times, dates are just not fun. When a guy asks me for my phone number, if my internal terror alarms aren’t going off, I give it to him. I do that out of the assumption that you can’t judge a person by just how he looks and you have to give everyone a chance. Maybe I’m wrong, though, because the dates that follow are usually unsuccessful. Dealbreaker information surfaces to the top but you have to stick around for another hour, or you’re laughing to be nice or you’re just really tired from being at work all day and you’d rather be home watching television instead of getting to know some guy who is opening up about how much he loves “The Goonies.”
Related: Do I Have Too Many Dealbreakers?
I go through all this because one day I would like to have a boyfriend. Yes, being single is nice. I was reading back on a journal entry from a year ago when I had just been on my first date with my last boyfriend. It was an awesome date and I couldn’t wait to see him again but I hadn’t heard from him in a few days. I was kind of a wreck about it. Liking someone and not knowing if he likes you back is somewhere just below really liking someone and knowing he doesn’t like you back and having a pet die.
But it all seems worth it when I’m watching Tami and Coach on “Friday Night Lights” and all I want in the world is to be in a sexy, rock solid, supportive partnership like their fictional, but realistically rendered marriage. I want that one day, I really do. Also, I’m tired of being the only single girl among my friends and the only one who doesn’t have insane summer vacation couple plans to Europe.
So it kind of feels like my duty as a single person to go out on dates. Any guy could be a good one, right? I just don’t know if I can bear the actual business of dating anymore. Not wanting to date probably has a lot to do with still being raw from my fake breakup from my fake relationship last week, but memory points to me never really being that enthusiastic about the whole dating ordeal anyway.
Related: 5 Cliches Of Single People
Have you ever kissed someone when you didn’t really want to? I have and it sucks. You are aware of every gross noise and the nearness of his half-beard. Have you ever gone on a second date with someone just because you were impressed with his kindness and manners only to realize that was not enough? I have and that makes me feel guilty. I don’t want to do those things anymore. I’m burnt out.
I don’t want to close myself off to opportunity and I think that means going on dates. But it feels like entirely too much work. It’s really easy for me to meet people I like as friends. It’s really hard for me to meet a person I like romantically. Are we having fun yet?