HowAboutWe – Date Report

Recently, reality star Kristin Cavallari and her ex-fiance, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, announced that they were back on board the marriage train. Cavallari announced that Cutler had proposed over text message, then mailed her the ring back after she accepted. That sounds … romantic? But it’s not the only crazy celebrity engagement story we’ve heard. Here are eight more proposals that made us kinda cringe. Even crazier? Some of them are still happily married.

Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco Johnson

“I wish I had a really romantic story to tell you, but it’s not so romantic,” Basketball Wives star Lozada said about her proposal from football player Johnson. “A jeweler came to the house, had a few rings, he had my ring in a separate box. I, of course, chose that one. [Chad] had a headset on and he was like, ‘You like it?’ and I was like, 'Yep' and I put it on and he goes, 'Okay cool,' and he started playing Call of Duty.”

THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER? After Evelyn accused Chad of cheating on her following their marriage, he assaulted her, the cops were called, and Evelyn filed for divorce. Altogether, they lasted a month as man and wife.

Mario Lopez and Courtney Mazza

Although TV host Mario Lopez and his girlfriend Courtney Mazza already had a daughter together, they waited a little while before making their relationship official. “I told Courtney that I wanted the mother of my children to have their last name,” Mario said, and then waited for Courtney to figure out what that meant. Oh, and because this is Mario Lopez we’re talking about, the whole thing was taped. Let’s hope Courtney was cool with being on TV. Oh, and did we mention that this is Mario’s second trip down the aisle? His first marriage, to Ali Landry, was annulled after she allegedly caught him cheating while they were on their honeymoon.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER?The couple got hitched in December 2012 and are still together. To the surprise of no one, the wedding was televised. They're expecting a second child in September.

Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon

When musician Nick Cannon decided to propose to his megastar girlfriend Mariah Carey, he gave everybody flashbacks to a ‘90s candy commercial. He offered Mariah a Ring Pop – that just so happened to have a real ring inside. (Side note: wouldn’t that make the ring get really sticky? The logistics are confusing here.) Not only did Mariah say yes, she was inspired to create her first fragrance, Lollipop Bling.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? The couple wed in April 2008 and are still together. They’re also the parents of twins, Moroccan and Monroe, aka Dem Babies.

Snooki and Jeff Miranda

Back when Jersey Shore was the biggest thing on TV, everyone wanted a piece of the action. That included Jeff Miranda, a “juicehead Guido” who briefly dated Snooki. Trying to make the most of his fifteen minutes, Miranda went on the cover of Steppin’ Out, a magazine dedicated to the Jersey club scene, and proposed to Snooks in the headline.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? Snooki said “no.” Not long after, she met Jionni LaValle. The couple are now engaged and have a newborn son, Lorenzo.

Rob Schneider and Patricia Azarcoya

When the comedian decided to propose to his girlfriend, he went with an old classic – hiding the ring in a slice of cake. The only problem? He forgot which slice the ring was in, which meant that he kept forcing Patricia to eat more and more cake until they found the slice containing the ring. Despite her stomachache, the proposal was otherwise happy.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? The couple got married in 2011 and welcomed a daughter, Miranda, last year.

Beth Ostrosky and Howard Stern

Howard tells the story himself: he came home, demanded that Beth take off all her clothes, and then as soon as she was naked he got out the ring and proposed. It’s toolish, but it’s exactly what you should expect if you’re dating Howard Stern.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? The couple got married in 2008 and are still going strong. Beth now goes by Beth Ostrosky Stern.

Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict

Though they’re both actors, Cory played his best role ever the day he and Tia got engaged. On Christmas Day with her family, he gave Tia a note about how he wanted to spend his future with her. Just when things got emotional, Tia’s brother brought over a second card that just read “Psych!” Luckily for that supremely awkward family moment, Cory proposed for real about five seconds later.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? They got married in 2008 and are now the parents of a son, Cree, who was born in 2011.

Axl Rose and Erin Everly

Nothing lasts forever – especially when it’s the majorly messed up relationship between former Guns N Roses frontman Axl Rose and model Erin Everly. He reportedly told her “Marry me or I’ll kill myself.” They went with the former.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER? Can a story that ends with suicide threats ever have a happy ending? Axl was reportedly physically abusive, and they eventually got an annulment.