The 6 Worst Things You Can Do Right After You Get Marriedby Meredith Bodgas on May 15, 2012
There are lot of great things to do right after you get married — have sex, sleep, take a fancy vacation, have more sex, write thank-you cards, have even more sex. But there are some pretty bad activities, too. Steer clear of these particularly damaging post-wedding enterprises.
Invite someone to live with you.
Whether or not you shared a home with your spouse before you got hitched, adding a roommate to your twosome isn’t an equation for marital bliss. Even a well-intentioned third wheel can make it tougher to transition from a heavenly honeymoon back to the demanding real world. Of course, certain circumstances may prevent you from starting married life completely on your own — but if you can avoid living with your parents or letting your college buddy crash, do.
Related: 5 Rules For Staying Together Forever
Make a baby because “it’s the next logical step.”
There are plenty of honeymoon babies in this world. And many of them were brought into existence by people who desperately wanted children ASAP. But it’s not a great idea to create a life solely because you think you’re supposed to do that right after your wedding. As any parent will tell you, being a new mom or dad is difficult (despite the many wonderful rewards). And if you’re not 100% committed to sleepless nights and other sacrifices in exchange for a needy bundle of joy, a baby can strain — if not ruin — your marriage.
Dwell on arguments brought about by wedding planning.
Yes, you’re still annoyed that you had to invite your husband’s wildly inappropriate frat brother — or that your wife vehemently opposed you wearing sneakers down the aisle. But guess what? Being mad about it won’t change the past. Few couples emerge from wedding planning unscathed by bickering over what they later realize were small things (though did his frat brother really have to cut in during your first dance?). Move on, and you’ll both be happier.
Throw another huge party that bankrupts you and your friends.
When you’re in the throes of wedding planning, the last thing you want is to have another fete to worry about. But lots of newlyweds get wistful once the wedding’s over and long for any excuse to party again, from a blowout housewarming to a ginormous anniversary party. Chances are, your pals have other weddings to attend after yours and would prefer not to clear their calendars for yet another event — or buy yet another gift. Besides, if you funded your own wedding, don’t you want time to recoup the savings you squandered?
True, career obligations may keep you two away from each other for a substantial amount of time. But isn’t a guarantee of being together in the same place an appealing reason to tie the knot? And when you get married, you’re ready to feel married, which you may not fully feel if you’re in Istanbul and your better half is in Honduras. So if you have the choice, shack up and get your marriage on solid ground before either one of you shakes things up with a move.
Call it quits.
It’s easy to decide in the first year that it’s just not working. Give it time. You likely didn’t decide to marry this person in haste; why throw in the towel so fast? Unless one of you was unfaithful, abusive or guilty of some other unforgivable offense, trust that you two exchanged vows for good reason and just need time to work out the kinks.
Meredith Bodgas is the blogger behind the wedding, marriage, and baby blog MeritalBliss.com. She’s written about weddings for Glamour.com, pregnancy and kids for WhatToExpect.com, and other sexy subjects for women’s publications like Redbook and WomansDay.com. She’s married to her junior high school sweetheart and lives in her native New York. Follow her on Twitter @mereditor.