A study involving more than 45,000 women in Denmark found that women infected with the Toxoplasma gondii (T. gondii) parasite are at higher risk of committing suicide. The parasite happens to spread through contact with cat poop, something that female cat owners are just rolllling in (I AM KIDDING.)

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The infection (toxoplasmosis) is known to cause mental illness (like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder), changes in behavior, and even the chance that a person will get in a car accident. So oh great now our boyfriends have another reason to roll their eyes at us when we cry during a Disney World commercial (she’s PMSing… cat poop  is making her crazy…) in which we will say, maybe you had better clean the litter box, baby. (And single female cat owners, well you are just skee-rewed! I AM KIDDING.)

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It’s also spread through eating undercooked meat or unwashed vegetables, but none of the headlines are picking up on that because it’s uninteresting and doesn’t affect a large, already-stigmatized group of people such as Cat Ladies.

Doctor Teodor Postolache, the study’s leading author and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in the United States, admitted that he has no idea what’s going on, here. “We can’t say with certainty that T. gondii caused the women to try to kill themselves, but we did find a predictive association between the infection and suicide attempts later in life that warrants additional studies.”

Thanks, science.

[The Telegraph]

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