Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird: I Said “I Love You” and He Didn’t Say It Backby Chiara Atik on May 22, 2012
Are you weird about dating? We’re here to help you figure it out! Just email us a question and we’ll tell you, as honestly as we possibly can, whether or not we think it’s weird. Today’s topic: saying “I Love You” and not hearing it back.
From Catherine, 30:
“After dating for a few months, I finally worked up the nerve to drop ‘The Big L’ on my boyfriend. He told me he wasn’t ready to reciprocate. Since then, things are feeling weird between us (admittedly, about 95% of it is probably in my head). How do I get over the L bomb and keep enjoying a relationship that means a lot to me?”
Ok. Dating someone for “a few months” is really not that long, and assuming we’re talking under 6 months here, it’s totally fine and normal for your boyfriend to not be ready to say he loves you, yet. It is also totally fine and normal for you to express the fact that you do! And truthfully, if he were that freaked out about it, he probably would have put on the brakes somehow, or started acting really weird. It seems like he took your admission just fine, wasn’t scared away by it, and will reciprocate in due time.
So, relax! You told someone you loved him, which is a lovely thing to feel, and hear. And he wasn’t bothered by it, so just continue enjoying your relationship!
[But. One tiny caveat. If your relationship progresses significantly, like, a year or more, and he still feels not ready to reciprocate, then it's definitely time to at the very least have a conversation. Because once you progress significantly past "a few months," then it's a huge time commitment to be putting towards someone who isn't quite sure whether he loves you. OR, he is sure, but unable to express it adequately, which is a communication problem that will likely cause issues later on in your relationship. But that's in the future, Catherine. That's lightyears away. Take it easy, for now.]