Note: This is a blatant rip-off of inspired by BuzzFeed’s 13 Simple Steps To Get You Through a Bad Day. So if none of this works for you, there’s always that. 

1. For 5 minutes straight, stare at this inspirational kitten poster from the 70s:
2. Remember that, yay! You don’t have to take care of this kid, ever!
3. Now pretend like you’re eating this Pasta Pie. You could eat it for real, sometime, I bet.
4. Here are some sh*tshows who have found significant others. (There is hope for everyone.)
Snookie
Some of the Kardashians
Rush Limbaugh
5. You’re not responsible for the following things:
BP Oil Spill
Original Sin
Jack and Jill
6. It’s better to be with nobody than just anybody.

 

7. Being single comes with amazing perks.

You get the bed to yourself

Embrace the sweatpants

Shave less

 You have a theme song

The pizza is all yours, whatever toppings you want

 

8. Now try to give this kitten a hug.

 

9. Look on the bright side! Your house didn’t burn down, did it?

10. At least he didn’t make you this meatloaf dinner.

11. Hooray for dates older than 2 years old!

12. At least she didn’t look like this during sex.

13. Chin up — this exists.

14. At least your date didn’t eat the wine glasses because SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THAT.

15. Bad kisser? This bad?

16. At least he didn’t text you this when you got home:

17. Now it’s time to collectively thank our lucky stars that dinosaurs no longer rule the earth. (Then you wouldn’t even be alive to have a bad date.)

18. Wouldn’t it suck to be these guys?

 19. Hey, look at you! You’re not getting attacked by a polar bear right now!

20. Be thankful Dan Savage didn’t turn your name into a really dirty word.

21. Reality check: Dude, even THIS WOMAN has been rejected.

22. Go to the movies this weekend and be reminded that honestly, sometimes it’s better to just not get involved.

23. Come on. Deep down, you knew there was just something off about the whole thing:


24. Make a vow that next time you’ll win her over by dressing like this:

 

25. Go hang with the guys and have a few drinks. Maybe like a couple less than this guy:

26. Don’t give up. Mr. or Mrs. Right is out there, just waiting for you.


Filed Under: