Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny: How To Separate The Best Guy From All Those Nice Guysby Serria Says on September 14, 2012
You might remember Serria Tawan from her stint as Playboy’s Miss November 2002. Now the former playmate is in her 30s, recently married, and ready to dish up some love advice. She says, “I want you to win and I’m going to give it to you straight.” Read more from her at serriasays.com, and her Date Report column Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny.
I’m 23 years old and a model. I don’t have a problem dating and a lot of guys I talk to are well put together. How do I weed the BEST guy out of nice guys? None of them are bad but their offenses might be something small like not texting me for a few days or being busy.
How can I tell if a great guy is being honest with me and has good intentions, or if he is just making excuses?
So you want to know what is normal and what is an excuse so that you can reduce the guys that you are dating? I get that! One of the problems of casually dating is that sometimes no one stands out, and honestly being a 23-year-old doesn’t help, that’s when our attention span is basically nonexistent.
For starters, get rid of the men who are not consistent. Even though you are “just” dating, you don’t want to accidently end up with a flaky guy. It takes 21 days to form a habit, good or bad, and guys can be a habit. I must warn you, they will come back to you. In that regard they are unchanging. For now just ignore this type, once he comes back, give him another shot if it fits, because he might have matured. From my observations really inconsistent guys are usually in relationships or on drugs…sometimes both.
Not texting for a few days is a crime when you are pursuing a young woman in high demand, but it should not be punishable by dating death. Put him lower on the “totem pole.” It’s a safe bet for men to assume the woman they are dating is attractive to other men, and women should believe the man they are seeing dates others, too. Nevertheless, infrequent texts while dating a young woman is careless. He knows this. If your Saturday Night date choice is between the “once in a blue moon” texter and a “Steady Eddy,” assuming you like both equally, pick the guy that is solid.
“Busy” is bullshit! Always has been. We make time for people and things that are important. That’s it! It’s that simple. I’ve dated guys with the most spectacular careers and they made time for dinner, drinks, vacation, and whatever they thought would keep me happy. A “busy” person who cannot fit you in is not interested in you. They only want you around when it fits their time schedule, which might not be bad if the dates are amazing. However don’t be needy, don’t sweat the small stuff. Busy guys are usually successful and it comes with the territory. They won’t be at your beck and call.
Of course I need not mention these basic dating red flags, but I WILL.
- Men who stand you up. They’re being super disrespectful of your time.
- Men who say they “love” you on the first date or in the first week.
- Men who want to parade you around friends and family like they know you when they don’t. (Sometimes these guys are gay and you are the beard.)
- Men who make sexual jokes and comments before they have seen you naked with their own eyes. (Magazines don’t count!)
- Men who text cock pics.
- Men who speak to you as if you are stupid.
- Men who are friends with 10,000 models (that they have never met) on Facebook. These guys will try to date your pretty friends.
You are in an awesome situation, relax and don’t stress it. Avoid over-thinking these guys, they aren’t worth the energy. Do not try to make a relationship from someone looking for a good time. Keep dating casually! Avoid sex with any of these guys, they don’t like you as much as they should. Be patient and wait until one separates from the pack. You don’t have to weed out anyone — he will do it himself.
There is no shame in dating multiple guys. It’s actually a better way to find the best person for you. Avoid weird emotional attachments by keeping your legs closed until you know who you are with and what’s going on.
Hint: if you have to ask about the status of a relationship, there isn’t one.