1) If your best friend tries to convince you that you are wrong about your suspicions about your husband, she’s probably sleeping with him.

Like in… Her Best Friend’s Husband

2) If you all of the sudden get really forgetful and losing big chunks of time, your husband is probably putting drugs in your coffee. Or poison. Or both.

Like in… Lethal Vows

Related: The 10 Most Romantic Movie Lines Ever Muttered

3) If a maniac stalker is after you, don’t leave your kids home alone. Seems like that would go without saying, but it happens all too often on Lifetime movies end with understandably tragic results.

Like in… A Deadly Encounter

4) If your husband starts beating you up and you fake your own death to get away from him, it’s not enough to change your hair and lipstick color.

Like In… A Change Of Place

5) If you’re rich, probably just about every guy that wants to date or marry you is plotting to kill you and take your money.

Like In… Unstable

Related: 5 Reasons To Hook Up With A Royal

6) That teenage girl that your husband’s been hanging out with is not someone he’s been “mentoring.” Wake up, stupid.

Like In… All The Good Ones Are Married

7) If you decide to kill your husband, don’t start sleeping with the police investigator. That just never works out the way you want it to.

Like In… Basic Instinct

8) Guys will stop seeing you if you a) tell them that you think your house is haunted, b) tell them that their mother’s tried to kill you, and c) forget to tell them you’ve been in prison for the last 10 years.

Like In… Secrets In The Walls

9) If a guy tells you his whole family is dead, it means he killed them.

Related: 6 Surprisingly Astute Love Tips From American Pie

Like In… The Stepfather

10) The babysitter, the woman you’ve rented the room over your garage to, or that sexy new administrative assistant in your husband’s office has a 50% chance of being a psycho that will take your husband and then kill you.

Like In… The Babysitter’s Seduction

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