Lakey’s Second HowAboutWe Date: When The Connection’s There, But the Chemistry’s Not.by Lakey Lumin on September 27, 2012
This is the latest post from our Chicago-based Date Reporter Lakey Lumin. She’ll be giving you a first-hand peek into her dating life. Catch up on her story here. In this post she talks about her second HowAboutWe date.
Last week I went on my second HowAboutWe date. Even now, nearly a week later, I’m not sure what to say about it. I just have really mixed feelings about this guy. He was great, really great, and so was the date. So why don’t I feel more connected? But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll start from the beginning and let you be the judge.
How we met: Honestly, I can barely remember. This is one of those times when real life gets in the way of online dating. He “I’m Intrigued” my “How about we… go eat a buncha caramels” date on the first day I signed up for HowAboutWe. I replied to him and gave him my number but then heard nothing for about a week. Eventually, he texted me, apologizing and saying he had been super busy. I had honestly kind of forgotten about him, so I wasn’t bothered. We started texting and he was hilarious. We had great, witty banter and texted for hours. However, we were both very busy and weren’t able to meet up for about two more weeks.
What we did: Finally, we decided to have a beach night at Montrose Beach in Uptown. [Editor's Note: It's not uncommon for a first date between two people who met on HowAboutWe to not be their suggested date, especially in situations like this, where some time passes between the initial connection and first date.] This is where things get sketchy and where my mom would be very disappointed in me.
We planned to meet around 9pm. I took the bus as close as I could and then walked towards the beach. He said there would be plenty of people around — which there were (and even some young women going for runs), but I was still nervous. I don’t like wandering around alone at night waiting for someone I haven’t met, regardless of how safe the neighborhood is. So I pick the safest spot I could, a lit-up and populated soccer field, and wait for Cameron to find me. Then something startling happens: I witness a robbery! Two young guys grab as many ice cream bars as possible from an unattended cart literally 10 feet away from me. And I did nothing. Nothing at all. And then felt like shit. In my defense, what could I do? Call the police? The boys had already run off as fast as they could. I thought about giving the $5 of cash I had on me to the cart owner, but I didn’t do that either. What a terrible citizen I am.
Five minutes after that, Cameron showed up with a case of Duvel and we walked towards the beach. For about an hour and a half, we hung out at the beach and got to know each other. We had lots of interesting conversation and I even got a first date gift — my first ever. (It was the chalice that comes with the four pack of Duvels.) After the beach, we went and grabbed some really fantastic sushi at Devo in Uptown.
Favorite Part: Cameron says he has to go to the bathroom. He leaves in the direction opposite of the giant toilet that is Lake Michigan. Then he comes back to grab his phone and I ask, “Why don’t you just go in the lake?” He exuberantly yells “Oh my God, thank you, I love you!” When he comes back he is just ending a phone call with a friend. I overhear him saying, “Yeah, she’s cool. She just let me pee in the lake. Then I accidentally said I loved her…. Yeah, I regretted it immediately.” I died laughing, but he was too. I really love when people address any awkwardness and just laugh it off.
Total $$$ I spent: $0 again. But this is where things get sticky. I know that Cameron is just about as poor as me and it seemed like the money we spent on sushi actually hurt his wallet. He said it was worth it for such a good date, but I still felt bad. And now, a week later, when I’m not sure if I will see him again, I have this strange desire to mail him $25 to cover my half of the bill.
Rules Broken: Apparently this date was about literally breaking the rules — and laws. I witnessed a robbery and encouraged a dude to pee in a lake. Oh, also, he accidentally said I love you. I’m pretty sure that’s got to be on the top 10 list of first date no-no’s.
How We Left It: A hug in a cab ride home and texting a bit the next 24 hours. However, after that he left on a trip for 9 days and we’ve just kind of faded out after that.
Although I’m not sure he felt the same way, I really felt more of a friend connection than a romantic one. I enjoyed his company immensely, but just didn’t feel that much real chemistry. This is the part I don’t like about dating: feelings. Especially ones that don’t match up. But what can you do? You have to follow your gut. And my gut says just keep swimming.
Lakey Lumin is a gender sociologist who is determined to live up her 20’s in Chicago. She is inordinately impressed by good trivia skills and witty banter. Follow her on Twitter @LoveLustLakey and check out her other blog at www.chicagonow.com/love-lust-