Let’s start this piece with a cliche: Flirting is an art. While there is certainly some truth behind that, flirting is really about being yourself and having fun. Take some do’s and don’ts from these coquettish pop culture characters and implement them in your own flirtation rotation. Like an experiment. FOR SCIENCE.

Plus: The Ultimate Guide To Flirting

1

Shirley Temple

Shirley’s cute, but we most note, as grown-ass adults, that no one truly cares about the Good Ship Lollipop.

 

The Takeaway: Flirting is silly and light, but substance is still very important. People shouldn’t leave your flirting correspondence thinking, “what just happened?” or “what is the Good Ship Lollipop?” Bad flirting gets you  nowhere. Don’t just say what you think they want to hear.

 

I’ll give Ms. Temple a break, seeing as she was like, three years old. But remember that while dimples are adorable, they won’t find you real love.

2

Calamity Jane

 

Even the Wild, Wild West couldn’t handle this frontierwoman. She’s known for her contrasting story: befriending the infamous Wild Bill Hickock and fighting the Native Americans but also being generous and kind hearted to the needy.

 

The Takeaway: BE A CONTRADICTION! Have some charisma and cojones, but still be down-to-earth and sweet. A good balance between the two sides, daring and caring, will give him the green light to try and figure you out. Also: HAVE A NAME LIKE “CALAMITY.” That is super sassy!

 

Plus: 5 Gems of Relationship Advice From Dr. Phil That Are Actually Legit

3

Lando Calrissian

Even this intergalactic smooth talker couldn’t weasel his way into the heart of Princess Leia (Han probably would’ve fried him faster than he could say “Greedo shot first.”) Oh, Billy Dee.

 

The Takeaway: That doesn’t mean smooth talking doesn’t work! Learn your way around words when it comes to flirting, the less you reveal and the more comfortable you seem talking, the better the outcome will probably be. Stumbling to fill in awkward silences or talking TOO much about nothing will have your love interest on the next escape pod outta there.

 

Maybe get a cyborg-huma to follow you around that you can activate with your iPhone. Or make jokes about your floating city. Or just get a cape.

4

Alice Nelson

This woman was always winking. Don’t be fooled by the fact that she was juggling dorky kids in bell bottoms while holding a pan of meatloaf — Alice was in complete control of her sexuality.

 

The Takeaways: #1 Do what you have to do. If Alice wasn’t set on finding love, she would have stayed in that damn Brady kitchen whining about never having time to date. But she made time. She brought Sam home. She was bold. I think they even made out in the refrigerator once.

 

#2 The sexy maid thing works. Even if it’s a non-sexy version, like this cheery blue collared, apron number you see here.

 

5

Tinkerbell/Navi

Tink was stuck hovering around Peter Pan like an over-protective mother. Her jealousy made her RATHER UNLIKEABLE. And I’m sure 90% of the time you were playing The Legend of Zelda you were yelling and smashing the B button, telling that little blue bitch to get lost.

 

The Takeaway: These fluttering, tiny pseudo-human things surrounded by pixie dust are a good example of what not to do. DON’T LINGER. If he isn’t feeling it, move on. Don’t try and change his mind because if he isn’t going for you at first, it’s probably not worth the effort.

6

Olive Oyl

Part Damsel-in-Distress, part I’ll-Kick-Your-Ass, Olive Oyl has got it going on.

 

The Takeaway: Leading with your submissive foot is a great way to start out, but don’t get bogged down by appearing helpless. Be coy when casting out your line, but when you’ve got him hooked, reel him in with your confidence. It’ll bag you a sailor boy in no time. (SO MANY PUNS.)

 

Plus: 10 Love, Sex And Dating Lessons From The Best Nickelodeon Shows Of All Time

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