It’s Fleet Week! 15 Tips For Picking Up a Sailorby Chiara Atik on May 23, 2012
2. Wear a nurse’s outfit and look at them expectantly.
3. Suggest renting a rowboat in the park and get them to row you around while you laze under a parasol.
4. Go to the Intrepid (or equivalent naval museum in your city). Gaze at one of the bunks and wonder aloud how they possibly fit two people in there. [Ed. note: If you're in NYC, you must go watch Top Gun on the flight deck of the Intrepid this Friday, 5/25. It's a great date night -- or great pickup spot.]
5. Say “Ahoy” instead of “hello.”
6. Flirtily say “avast!” instead of “stop!” when they whisper a compliment.
7. When a visiting sailor asks for directions, impress him or her by saying “port,” and “starboard” instead of left and right.
8. Invite them to celebrate the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” by making out right then and now.
9. Serenade them with a touching rendition of your favorite sea shanty. (Recommended: What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?)
10. Tell him he’s welcome to drop his anchor into your harbor. Then stare at him, pointedly, til he gets the entendre.
11. Steal his or her hat and run as fast as you can. They will chase you. (They need that hat.)
12. Walk around with a rope and dejectedly say “Is there anyone here who can show me how to tie a knot?”
13. Wear a slutty sailor outfit from Ricky’s. Secretly board the ship and try to blend in.
14. Invite him or her over for a home cooked meal.
15. Greet every sailor you see with “Hell-ooooooo, sailor!” Every. Single. One.