HowAboutWe – Date Report

Last week, I got an email from someone who said he was referred to me by W*, a guy I went on a few dates with a couple of years ago. Backstory on W: on either our third or fourth date (I can’t remember), he invited me to his place to cook dinner for me. Not going to go into too much detail, but W was a shitbird from the moment I took off my coat. At one point, we got into a heated debate about our literary tastes and he threw a book of poetry at me (not violently, but still!) and told me to read something worth my while. I told him to go f–k himself (in more flowery language), put my coat back on and hightailed it out of there. The next day he sent me an email and admitted to being “stressed about something else” and “not at his best.” I replied with a “fair enough” and we never spoke again. In my mind, we were not on good terms. We were on “let’s never talk again” terms.

The next time I saw his name was on the subject line of that referral email and I got all whipped up. The thing is, when someone treats me like a crap, I’ll probably forgive them at some point, but I’ll never forget. For the rest of eternity, they have forfeited all perks and privileges associated with knowing me. When I saw the email, I wanted to scream at the computer screen, “You’re not allowed to expect me to do your friends any favors after the way you treated me! Don’t you know there are rules about that kind of stuff?”

Sadly, there are no rules. Only in my head. So I am taking it upon myself to make them official. Just so all the shitbirds out there know the deal. Below, a list of things you are not entitled to do if we are on “let’s never talk again” terms.

Any other rules? Add yours in the comments.

– Ami Angelowicz

This post originally appeared on The Frisky.