Debating This Weekend’s Best Date Movies: The Sessions vs. Paranormal Activity 4by Lindsey Weber and Bobby Finger on October 19, 2012
Lindsey: HEY BOBBY
Bobby: HIYA LINDSEY! Did you see any good movies this past week?
Lindsey: Oh! I saw The Master because I just love being 10 miles behind the curve.
Bobby: What’d you think?
Lindsey: I hated it? It made me tired and bored? It’s gonna win all the Oscars?
Bobby: I don’t think it’ll win all the Oscars, but I was disappointed, too. I thought it was Fine. Basically, it needed more Laura Dern.
Lindsey: OMG It really did.
Bobby: BUT WE DIGRESS. The movies out this week range from WTF to Oscars contenders.
Lindsey: This is a great week, let me tell you.
Bobby: Paranormal Activity 4, Alex Cross, and The Sessions.
Lindsey: So, basically: all scary movies. Ghosts, Tom Cruise, Helen Hunt has sex with a man in an iron lung. Happy Halloween y’all!
Bobby: Alex Cross isn’t Tom Cruise! It’s TYLER PERRY.
Lindsey: THAT’S EVEN SCARIER.
Bobby: Tyler Perry NOT IN DRAG.
Lindsey: What’s the movie with the first name that’s coming out with Tom Cruise? JACK REACHER
Bobby: oh god
Lindsey: Now THAT will be a scary movie.
Bobby: That title makes me giggle
Lindsey: Anyway! back to Tyler Perry. Why is this happening to us! Is this the ONE TYLER PERRY MOVIE you won’t see?
Bobby: I’ll probably see it. But what I think is funniest is that he’s reviving a character originally played by Morgan Freeman.
Lindsey: That takes lots of balls. Lots of balls Tyler Perry definitely has. Those balls have been tucked away for so long, Bobby.
Bobby: Yeah, very Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. Goodbye, Horses. So it’ll be worth it as a date movie in that way where you just compare the two of them after it’s over.
Lindsey: I would never do that. I think we can count that one out for the majority of our readers? See an old Madea movie! Which one would you recommend?
Bobby: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion OR Tyler Perry’s The Family that Preys those are my two favorites.
Lindsey: Both available in trash cans near you!
Bobby: Rude. NEXT: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4
Lindsey: You know how I feel about a scary movie on a date. (It’s perfect!)
Bobby: Yeah, but the THIRD sequel? Too much. Not original enough.
Lindsey: What’s scary is scary though.
Bobby: But is this scary? how long will we be scared by night vision and closet doors that open and close VERY FORCEFULLY.
Lindsey: I don’t know about you, but I cried during FX’s American Horror Story. So, forever.
Bobby: OH, I DVR’d that. I’ll definitely watch.
Lindsey: It’s terrifying. Adam Levine’s arm gets ripped off MID ORAL SEX.
Bobby: SPOILER ALERT. BUT OK. Speaking of sex. THE SESSIONS.
Lindsey: The scariest movie of them all if you ask me.
Bobby: Man who had polio is a virgin at 38 and in an iron lung and helen hunt has sex with him. Apparently it’s very sweet and touching…IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE
Lindsey: APPARENTLY. I’d rather not be touched by Helen Hunt.
Bobby: but yeah, this has a lot of acting Oscars buzz.
Lindsey: I watched Pay it Forward already tooooo many times.
Bobby: who doesn’t like John Hawkes?
Lindsey: Is that really the question to ask here?
Bobby: Maybe it’s a good date movie because it’ll give the couple iDeAs in the bedroom post-movie! “You just lie there and pretend to have polio”
Lindsey: Sounds like great advice. Well I loved Bubble Boy.
Bobby: Yep. I mean, “You just lie there and pretend that you HAD polio as a child and are now paralyzed from the neck down…But you can still FEEL ~down there~”
Lindsey: Okay Bob, we’ve heard enough about that. SO WHAT’S THE DECISION.
Bobby: I choose The Sessions, obviously.
Lindsey: And I would rather be terrified by surveillance cameras.
Bobby: If night vision scares you, see Paranormal Activity 5,403. If Polio Sex is kind of intriguing, see The Sessions.
Lindsey: Don’t forget Helen Hunt.
Bobby: It’s very easy to forget Helen Hunt.
Lindsey Weber is a writer living in Brooklyn and her favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is when Dave Chappelle calls Meg Ryan “fine.”
Bobby Finger is (also) a writer living in a Brooklyn and his favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is anytime Steve Zahn enters a scene.