Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny: How To Kick Out Your Inner Shy

You might remember Serria Tawan from her stint as Playboy’s Miss November 2002. Now the former playmate is in her 30s, recently married, and ready to dish up some love advice. She says, “I want you to win and I’m going to give it to you straight.” Read more from her at serriasays.com, and her Date Report column Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny.

Plus: Why You Must Feel Single In Order To Find Love

Being shy is a liability usually, not an asset. It’s a pain in the neck. My issue with technology is that we can create this ultra clever, witty person that is absolutely nothing like the person we really are, and that is a problem. When guys do it women complain, “we have the best conversations through email but when we meet he’s so boring.” Guys say, “she’s shy.” My intention is not to beat you up about your personality — not everyone can be an extrovert. But if someone has to choose between great emails and text messages versus a person who makes them feel good, the winner will be the person every time.

Text is not a real form of communication, and if you use it as a crutch to mask your true self, you will always be a disappointment in person. Plus what are you going to do next? Have the text message lean in for a kiss because you are too chicken shit? Send your romantic email in for foreplay? Maybe, if you are in high school.

Plus: 10 Things It’s Okay To Expose On A First Date

I recommend working on the real you. If you would like to decrease your shyness while meeting new people, I have a few different ideas. And while you increase your social skills, you are also in a place where you can meet potential dates. Two birds, one stone.

Improv Comedy

Second City, Groundlings, or a local city college offer these classes you can take (sometimes for free.) This will be a great opportunity for your to surround yourself with beautiful people (actors are often beautiful!) while learning how to let go and get out of your own way. In improv comedy, you are forced to think quick and be in the moment, just like when you are on a date. And best of all, humor is a great aphrodisiac and ice breaker.

Toastmasters

This group might be in your area and they are designed to help individuals increase their comfort with public speaking. It’s a simple format — during each meeting everyone has a chance to practice speaking to the group, which usually consists of professionals. Bonus: you can visit other chapters and participate in regional contests.

Acting Class

If you’re not quite up for improv comedy, this is a great alternative. Just make sure you are up for memorizing lines.

Plus: The 50 Qualities All Girlfriends Should Possess

A Passion Class

Try a cooking class, a wine tasting class, a chocolate making class, etc. These can be unisex, but make sure you have an idea of the gender breakdown before you commit.

Remember — while it’s wonderful to talk about your hobby, but make sure to be present and gauge the other person’s interest. Your date might appreciate that you are interested in pasta making, but might not want to hear a three-hour discourse about it.