Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny: Why Splitting the Check Just Doesn’t Workby Serria Says on August 31, 2012
You might remember Serria Tawan from her stint as Playboy’s Miss November 2002. Now the former playmate is in her 30s, recently married, and ready to dish up some love advice. She says, “I want you to win and I’m going to give it to you straight.” Read more from her at serriasays.com, and her Date Report column Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny.
I’m a strategist. I study what works and try to find ways to make it work better.
For example, I don’t advise women to ask men out — not because I have a vendetta against aggressive women, but simply because it doesn’t work. I’ve done it, and so have girlfriends, and I have observed that the probability of success is low.
Let’s talk about another thing that I have found doesn’t work: letting the woman pay. It’s not because I don’t think women can pay for themselves, or that men should have to just empty their pockets. However, from my studies this single action towards a stranger, significantly reduces your chances of a good experience. If a guy went out with any of my masturbation worthy girlfriends and took her up on her offer to pay, that would probably be their last date.
It doesn’t matter if you choose to date models or not because every woman is hot shit to someone, but if seeing your date inspires nothing more than you mentally splitting the bill, you are dating the wrong woman. Step it up a notch and aim higher: go out with a girl that you feel so lucky to be with that you really want to pay. Otherwise you are wasting your time. Which is ten times more valuable than the $25 you were going to spend at Olive Garden. (Side note: I love the Olive Garden — I call it OG — because me and OG go wayyyy back. Such value!)
For my blog ideas, I talk to clients, read magazines, other blog posts, and comments. In the comments for the 6 Reasons You Should Want To Date A Feminist, a guy said he doesn’t pay for dates because he doesn’t have to pay to hang out with women. Unfortunately for him, his brain has somehow confused paying for a whore with being a gentleman; as a result he’s screwing himself over big time. Also, that’s actually a cry for a professional therapist and healthy women see this stance for what it is, a symptom of a bigger problem. Whatever you do, don’t refuse to pay for dates on principal. That is the equivalent to a woman abstaining from sex, just because. And how fun is she, huh?
Just so you know, those celibate women have a low success rate as well, really low.
I tell friends to use HowAboutWe because you can plan the date you want so just make it fit your budget. Honestly, most women don’t care about the cost of the date, they care about their treatment. When friends tell me about dinner dates it’s simply “we went to dinner,” whether the guy spent $50 or $500. For her it’s all the same. Dinner. Girlfriends brag about the “different” dates, the creative ones, the fun ones. The ones that take a little more thought and planning than just dinner.
Back in the days of MySpace, I met a very handsome guy online, I was new to LA and still very Midwestern. Our date was a walk on the beach and I mentioned getting an ice cream. He told me that he doesn’t buy on the first date. The reality is that I was too young for him and he was too screwed up for me. The date should have ended there but I didn’t know any better. Our first date was also our last, and if I had to guess his current situation, I would say that he’s still dating 24-year-olds and still screwed up.
When I started writing SerriaSays, my initial goal was to help make women better at getting and keeping men. But the reality is that I actually started my coaching business with men. I would give makeovers, help with dating behavior and etiquette, I adore men and feel like I understand them as much as I do women.
And we are all flippin’ crazy.
The Bunny Tail (The bottom line, what you should do next):
I always tell women to find the men who think she’s their dream and pick one, and I always tell men to date women that inspire them to be better. The best that you can be. You will be able to identify that early on. Your assignment is to find five women who you feel are out of your league and ask them out.