You might remember Serria Tawan from her stint as Playboy’s Miss November 2002. Now the former playmate is in her 30s, recently married, and ready to dish up some love advice. She says, “I want you to win and I’m going to give it to you straight.” Read more from her at serriasays.com, and her Date Report column Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny.

Ladies. I have strong suggestions when it comes to texting. Know this, as sure as the sun will shine, your dream man probably uses texting differently than you. He will not text you as the primary means of communication. Texting, for a guy, is a means to get quick info. Nothing more, nothing less.

Your brain will fight me on this, I know. But until you find a guy who really cares and is really interested in investing in a relationship, you won’t find a guy who will text you in your own language. Guys use texting as their primary means of communication when they don’t care. And if they don’t care upfront, it won’t get any better. Your only job as a single woman is to find that man who thinks you are his dream and then decide if he is yours.

Plus: The Most Bullshit Text Message Ever From A Passive Aggressive Liar

Once you find this amazing guy that thinks you are his dream woman, I kindly request that you play it cool. Seriously, be cool! Not in the “I’m too hot to be emotionally available” way, but more in the “I adore you but you still have to work, sweetie pie,” way.

Here are guidelines when it comes to texting.

1

After a date, do not text your feelings about your date. Not even “thank you.”

If that’s your way of telling the guy that you enjoyed him, you are on the wrong path. The guy needs to hear about your feelings towards him from your mouth. It’s also positive reinforcement, which is a good tool to get more good dates. Show him (in person) when he makes you happy from the first date. Being hard to read is a liablity of dating and text messaging wont fix it. If he’s deciding between you and another for a Friday night date, the winner won’t be selected based on the way her text messages made him feel.

2

Avoid aggressive texting.

Allow the guy to initiate communication with you after a date. If you have done your job, he already knows you like him, now you need to find out if he likes you. Don’t text something unnecessary like “good morning”, “good night”, or “I had a great date.” Please don’t. Remember, your one job is to find men (plural) that like you and if you are pursing him, he can’t pursue you.

Plus: 21 Reasons He Didn’t Call

3

Don’t nag the guy via text.

This includes (but is not limited to) sending questions about a date that he doesn’t need to (and won’t) confirm and asking questions repeatedly (that he’s ignoring). If there is something that you really want to find out, call or ask in person at the right time. Men have a low tolerance for nagging. Let’s say a guy invites you to a party but doesn’t send the address. He will respect you more if you make other plans than if you harrass him for the location.

4

Don’t text to spy.

It’s Friday night and you want to know if he is on another date with someone else. When he doesn’t text back, your feelings will probably be hurt and you’ll text several times more. You’ll assume he’s on a date. You are probably right, but your actions won’t change things. Plus, it just isn’t nice.

5

Allow text messages to simmer.

Do not return text messages immediately, especially if you want to encourage the guy to call. I know texting back and forth can be exciting, but there will be a time you can’t text back immediately and you don’t want to train anyone to expect instant gratification from you. This is also a good way to check his personality. If he freaks out or questions you, move on!

Plus: Dating Advice From A Playboy Bunny: Why You Must Feel Single In Order To Find Love

Grown ups communicate with their mouths. Teens chat via text. In the world of dating there will be many guys who are great for short term and they will tell you loud and clear through their actions. Monitor your own texting, and know that you can gleam a good amount of information about your date based on the way he texts you, too.

The Bunny Tail (The bottom line, what you should do next):

On your next date, compliment your guy generously. If he planned the date, tell him how awesome it is, and if you planned the date, make sure he knows how much fun you are having because of him. The best way for a guy to know that you want to see him again is by telling him that you would love to see him again. Guys are not mind readers.

Want more advice from Serria? Leave a comment below — and check out www.serriasays.com and follow her on twitter @serriasays.

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