Is Taken 2 An Analogy for Holding on to Love? + This Weekend’s Thought-Provoking Date Moviesby Lindsey Weber and Bobby Finger on October 05, 2012
Bobby: Hey Lindsey.
Lindsey: Hello Bob. What’s shakin’?
Bobby: Not much, Lindz.
Lindsey: See any of the movie’s we suggested (…to ourselves) last week?
Bobby: I saw Looper. And I’m seeing Pitch Perfect on Sunday. And I saw Lawrence of Arabia last night.
Lindsey: That’s quite the mix.
Bobby: I loved Looper.
Lindsey: I haven’t seen it yet because SOMEONE went without me.
Bobby: HEY. Well, you definitely should. You’ll love Bruce. I’d definitely see it again.
Lindsey: Well, I stand by my love of his face on JGL’s body. Anyway, what’s up for this weekend?
Bobby: There’s a big mix of releases, but I think the three we should focus on are Taken 2, Frankenweenie, and The Paperboy.
Lindsey: Ah, a sequel, a remake (of his own movie) and a film with Zac Efron.
Bobby: I think you mean a sequel, a remake, and a film with Nicole Kidman peeing on Zac Efron.
Lindsey: I don’t think that’s what I meant. Also, is that actually real? Does that actually happen? If I’m promised water sports, I want water sports.
Bobby: Yes, it actually happens.
Lindsey: Bravo, Zac. Bravo. Well sign me up for that one. But should we consider the others?
Lindsey: But! Liam Neeson has to find them (again!).
Bobby: It’s also rated PG-13, which is weird — considering how bloody and violent Taken was.
Lindsey: You’d think if he lost her the FIRST TIME he’d try not to lose her again.
Is this an analogy for holding on to love? Maybe.
Bobby: Well, you know what they say. Take me once, shame on you. Take me twice, shame on Maggie Grace.
Lindsey: Maybe she gets TAKEN this time and never returned? Like an overdue Blockbuster rental. I guess we’ll have to see it (or read the movie’s Wikipedia page).
Bobby: There was a video store in Austin that filled the tops of their walls with the DVD covers of stolen movies. Like, if you never returned a movie, they printed out a thing in all caps that said STOLEN BY [name of person who rented it].
Lindsey: Wait, that’s incredible. I stole Phat Girlz from Netflix once.
Bobby: Most of them were embarrassing, like, Die Hard STOLEN BY LINDSEY WEBER.
Lindsey: THAT IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. Die Hard is the best. And so is Phat Girlz.
Bobby: Well, I think Taken 2 is going to be embarrassing. I love Liam Neeson and basically died when Natasha Richardson died, so saying that is tough. But unfortunately I think it’ll be bad. You and your date will not enjoy yourselves.
Lindsey: That’s pretty depressing, Bob. Let’s not bring IRL into this. Why don’t we just tell people rent the first Taken instead.
Bobby: Yes. Good choice. Cuddle while you watch Liam Neeson kill literally everyone in Western Europe.
Lindsey: Romantic! RIP Western Europe and Natasha Richardson. (Too soon.)
Lindsey: It’s Mars Attacks! (with an exclamation mark), actually. And yes, ideal situation. SJP’s disembodied head forever
Bobby: Yes. I mean, it’s supposed to be good? Halloween-themed, may give you and your date couples costume ideas.
Lindsey: HAHA. Couples costumes are the worst. [Ed. note: Lindsey, that's because you haven't seen our amazing couples costumes.] Please do go as SJP’s disembodied head, though.
Bobby: Couples costume could be SJP’s disembodied head and Pierce Brosnan’s disembodied head.
Lindsey: Okay fine. That’s the only exception to the rule.
Lindsey: The movie you apparently should see out of all of these?
Bobby: All I know is that it’s allegedly completely insane and trashy and messy.
Yes, right? Is that our choice?
Lindsey: Zac Efron is foinneeee, so there’s that. Also I’m the only human who saw The Lucky One.
Bobby: Is Nicole peeing on Zac enough?
Lindsey: And you see a lot of very nice defined back muscles in that.
Bobby: I begged my mom to see Best Exotic Marigold Hotel a few weeks ago. I was talking to her on the phone and she goes, “Ew, Best Exotic? One star. I was very disappointed, but I did see The Lucky One and that was good.”
Lindsey: Good taste, your mom. But The Lucky One was not that good. It was very good if you’re a Zefron fan like myself, but not as good as 17 Again.
Bobby: OK, The Paperboy wins. I’m leaving. I need to stop listening to you talk about Zac Efron.
Lindsey: Are you sure?
Bobby Finger has disconnected
Lindsey Weber is a writer living in Brooklyn and her favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is when Dave Chappelle calls Meg Ryan “fine.”
Bobby Finger is (also) a writer living in a Brooklyn and his favorite part of You’ve Got Mail is anytime Steve Zahn enters a scene.