There are two types of women in this world: women who are in serious relationships, and women who are single. And never the twain shall meet! – according to Glamour blogger Melissa Melms, who recently wrote a post titled, “We Can’t Be Friends Unless You Have a Boyfriend. I’m Serious…Kind of.”

She writes,

“But a funny thing happens when you enter into a serious, committed relationship: some of those single friends you used to call your BFF’s are replaced by other, coupled up guys and gals. They’re still in your life but they play a completely different role (umm, and sometimes their single behavior is kind of annoying).”

Ah, I see. “Single behavior.” There are only so many times a girl can ask, “Should I use this picture good for my online dating profile?” before she is ostracized forever.

Melms continues,

“When you’re in a relationship, there are certain things you just can’t talk about with your single friends anymore. I mean, you can talk to them, but you don’t want to seem like that couple who has nothing else to talk about but your boyfriend or girlfriend. In my life, my relationship and my career are the biggest scene-stealers, especially since J and I are living together. I admit it. Sometimes I feel so [insert lovey-dovey adjective here] with J that I just need to share or vent or maybe even brag a little (sometimes all at once). But I know the single gals get sick of hearing it. Just like hearing about random, crazy hook-up stories gets a little old for me. There’s no judgment, I’m just in a different place in my life and want to be able to connect with people who are there, too, and cheering me on.”

Ok, let’s break this down a bit.

“You don’t want to seem like that couple who has nothing else to talk about but your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

Yes. Agreed. Which means you talk about your work, your family, that movie you just saw, the vacation you’re planning. You ask your friend how she’s doing, how her work is, where she got her manicure done, what she’s doing for her birthday. And you also talk about your relationship, yes, but if it’s seriously the only topic at you’re capable of discussing with someone, then you’ve got more serious problems than friends without boyfriends.

“Sometimes I feel so [insert lovey-dovey adjective here] with J that I just need to share or vent or maybe even brag a little (sometimes all at once). But I know the single gals get sick of hearing it.”

If you’re really, deliriously happy right now, and your friend is “sick of hearing it,” then she’s a shitty friend. Seriously!

“Just like hearing about random, crazy hook-up stories gets a little old for me.”

You’re a shitty friend, too!

“I’m just in a different place in my life and want to be able to connect with people who are there, too, and cheering me on.”

Okay, here’s the point. Friends cheer each other one, no matter what. They don’t have to necessarily understand exactly what you’re going through, whether good or bad, as long as they get that you’re going through it. Sure, it’s important and nice to have friends who are in the same life-place as you, with whom you can swap stories and gush unapologetically. But this should never come at the cost of your old (neglected, abandoned, single) friends.

[Glamour: We Can't Be Friends Unless You Have a Boyfriend]

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