Adele Turns a ‘Rubbish Relationship’ Into (Grammy) Gold — Here’s How You Can Too

Adele performing at the Grammy Awards Last night, Adele cleaned up at the Grammys, winning all six awards she was nominated for. The British star, who was singing in public for the first time since having vocal cord surgery, thanked some of the usual suspects — her mom, her co-writers — and someone a little more unexpected… her ex-boyfriend.

Anyone who has listened to one of the songs off of her album 21 knows that Adele got her heart broken something fierce. (“Someone Like You” so accurately touched a nerve in all people everywhere that Saturday Night Live spoofed the song’s ability to make people weep openly.) When Adele went to claim her trophy for Album of the Year, she said that the songs were inspired by something that everyone understood: “a rubbish relationship.”

What your grandma and Kelly Clarkson say is true: whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. In Adele’s case, turning heartbreak into megahit award-winning songs means that she clearly came out the winner in this situation. After all, we don’t even know her ex’s name or what he looks like, but Adele has been on the cover of Vogue. And despite a bad breakup being the catalyst to making her a megastar, she hasn’t been wallowing: there was a cute smiley guy sitting next to her last night, and that’s only the icing on the awesome cake.

So if you don’t have the ability to make a Grammy-winning album to cope with a breakup, what can you do to emulate Adele? A few suggestions:

Turn your sadness into something else. Just because you don’t have a gift for music doesn’t mean there are no other ways to express yourself. Whether it’s journaling, baking, or playing a sport, find a way to channel all that anger and hurt into something positive and self-enriching.
Be honest. Although it may seem uncool to talk about your feelings openly, the reason Adele’s music touched so many people is because it was totally real. Be honest about your feelings and other people will follow suit: we’re wired to respond to someone who has been through the same experiences we have.
Find a community. Although it always feels like you’re the only person in the whole world experiencing heartbreak, it probably isn’t the case. Connecting with other people who are going through the same thing will a) give you people to talk to, b) make you feel less alone, and c) help you find your way out of the darkness.
If all else fails, you’re totally allowed to sit alone in the dark drinking wine and listening to 21 on repeat. I certainly won’t judge.

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