9 Ways to Be a Better Wingwoman (From a Guy’s POV)by Rich Santos on February 17, 2012
In the dating world, men need all the help we can get. So we frequently rely on a wingman who acts as a PR Agent, confidante and co-strategic planner.
But unlike the wingman who only has to help his male friend, the wingwoman is counted on by both parties. We want you to succeed as much as you and your friend do. So if you’re out with your gals playing the part of wingwoman, keep these pointers in mind to be the best you can be:
(Subtly) Remove Yourself from the Pool Early On
Guys usually go full force on a group of women like a huge illegal fishing net in international waters. They’ll deal with just about anyone that happens to be in their net. By making it clear that you’re not available, you’re making sure he’s not hitting on you — thus directing more attention to your friend.
Nobody likes an obnoxious relationship status drop in the first five seconds (“Oh, that’s so funny! My boyfriend ALSO shakes hands when he meets people”), but a quick glance at your phone and a casual mention to your friend, “I think I’ll probably go meet up with John at that thing later” will get the point across.
Direct The Conversation
I’m not a believer that silent patches in conversation are the end of the world, but they do make for uncomfortable moments. Bring up anything you want and nudge those two crazy kids into conversation.
…But Let Her Talk
When directing the conversation, try to make it about them and not you. And whatever you do, don’t dominate the conversation.
Be Careful of TMI
Practice good judgment when volunteering information about your friend to the suitor. Don’t embarrass her, or tell him something that might turn him off. If there’s any doubt in your mind about saying something, it’s best not to say it. Let the guy explore your friend’s personality. Don’t volunteer everything. That takes all the fun out of it for both of them.
Don’t Be Overprotective
This is the person every guy fears: the overprotective girlfriend. Sometimes you have to let your friends make their own mistakes (unfortunately). Once you decide to be a wingwoman, don’t reverse gears in the middle of the campaign. The decision is your friend’s at this point, not yours.
Make Me Look Good
Remember? I need all the help I can get. Please laugh at my stupid jokes and act interested/compelled by the lame facts I’m saying about myself. Be supportive. Hitting on women is not easy. And I’ll usually invest in a drink for you in addition to my target, given all the help you’re supplying. So please gush about how sweet I am in front of her. I want to be adored!
Most guys are very much in touch with their inner eighth grader forever, unfortunately. So, it’s nice to get reassurance that we’re doing well in our conquest or congratulations on that great thing we said to her. Of course, you have to smoothly give us our progress reports while we’re isolated somewhere so she doesn’t notice we’re in cahoots. We never really know how well (or badly) we’re doing.
Keep Your Friend’s Best Interests At Heart
Even if you’re turned off by the guy, your friend may still be intrigued. Let your friend make her own mistakes — I think she’ll appreciate you more for that than imposing your personal will on the situation.
Leave Us Alone
Thank you, and good-bye. Your girlfriend owes you one — remember that.
What are your requirements for a great wingwoman/wingman?