This is probably nitpicking, as it’s possible to spill a drink without being hammered, but at the same time when it happens you can’t help but look at that person with new eyes. New, judgmental eyes.

Here’s the thing…we’ve all seen Anchorman.

Well, I’m glad we have established that I’m an awkward rebound situation that has no chance of actually going anywhere. Good stuff!

I’m not saying I don’t want to see my potential significant other strutting around belting out “White Wedding” (honestly, I really do) but in a lot of situations it might be a little too soon.

Sometimes I will make a joke that is meant for a specific audience, and just as it leaves my mouth I realize “wait a minute, this is an inside joke that she won’t get.” And when uproarious laughter follows, I feel super awkward. Sometimes a really sadistic part of me wants to continue until she is forced to confess that she doesn’t understand, but that’s probably a complex that deserves another article altogether!

I say some terrible things. I mean, some really terrible things. But when the F-bomb parade comes out early on in the dating process it isn’t a death sentence for the relationship by any means — it usually just means there is some liquor involved. As a side note, determining how comfortable your date is with cussing is often a daring tight rope walk.

Anything longer than a moment and there is probably something else at work (narcolepsy, or you talking about stamps) but it’s pretty hard to deal with. Even though they are the ones making a fool of themselves, somehow you feel the shame. Sometimes dating is stupid.

When the night ends with, “Holy crap, you suck” instead of a vague promise to call…yeah, they’re drunk.