My Date With Amazon Eveby Scott Alden on February 08, 2011
It’s widely known that I don’t generally date models. (Sorry ladies, just not my thing.) I am prepared, however, to make an exception for this Amazon Eve character.
Listen, I don’t have a weird giant fetish or anything, but at 6’2″ (not even THAT tall folks) I have NEVER dated a woman who is taller than me. Amazon Eve has a good 6 inches on me. That’s enough height for me to rest my head on her ample bosom while we slowdance to “The Rose” under the moonlight on a cruise ship’s top deck (not that this is a fantasy of mine or anything. What?).
So, I’m launching a campaign to get a date with Amazon Eve. How will I do it? By coming up with the 5 Best Date Ideas for The Tallest Model in the World, of course.
I’ve done my research, of course, and found out a bit about what Eve is looking for: “I like a little old school, I like humor—I like men who are calm and don’t have drug or alcohol issue. But there’s no perfect man out there—I do know that!”
Very informative. Thanks Fox News. Okay. “Operation: Date An Amazon.” Here we go.
1. “How about we… go to a party, switch clothes in the bathroom, and see if anybody notices?!”
2. “How about we… share a home-cooked meal (I’ll cook!) then you can change some light bulbs for me?”
3. “How about we… dress you up like a tree and me like a koala in pajamas? Then we’ll go the park, and I’ll cling to your torso and pretend I’m asleep and we’ll just listen to people go ‘Awwww…’”
4. “How about we… slowdance to “The Rose” under the moonlight on a cruise ship’s top deck while I rest my head on your ample bosom?” (Seriously, what?)
5. “How about we… POPCORN FIGHT!!!!!!!”
Okay, seriously, you guys. If you know Amazon Eve or anyone who knows her, you gotta make this intro for me. Just tell Eve to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll take care of the rest.