American girls spend an awful lot of time watching Disney movies and dreaming of perfect, fairy tale men, setting up exceedingly unrealistic expectations of love. So what would it be like to date a Disney Prince in real life? We’ve tallied up their good and bad qualities to try to decide which would be the most dateable.

Prince Eric

There’s no doubt about it, Prince Eric is the hottest of the Disney Princes by far. He also has a lot of fans, who cite his adorable dog and badass seaside castle as reasons to date him. But Eric has some serious drawbacks, the first being that he (for whatever reason) can’t seem to seal the deal and kiss the girl, despite the moonlight, despite the romantic lagoon setting, despite the ample prodding from the sea creatures around him. Do you really want a guy who doesn’t make his feelings known?
What’s even worse: Prince Eric falls in love with Ariel without ever hearing her speak, or voice an opinion, or have a thought. So what does he fall in love with? Her body–he clearly couldn’t care less about her mind.

Let Eric be a lesson to us, girls: don’t just go for the pretty guy.

The Beast

Ok, first of all, Beauty and the Beast came out 20 years ago and I just now learned that “The Beast”‘s real name is “Prince Adam”. Prince Adam is sort of the Mr. Darcy of Disney Movies: gruff and off-putting at first until, slowly, he shows his gentler side. Prince Adam also has pretty damn good gift-giving skills (a library!!), a sweet palace, and a staff of friendly servants. The only hang-ups? Prince Adam wasn’t a good person, so chances are once the bloom is off the relationship, he might go back to his old selfish habits. Also, he looks like Fabio. Also, the teaching him how to read thing might get old REAL fast.

Prince Philip

Surprisingly, Prince Philip, a pretty non-descript guy, would actually rank well in the “real life boyfriend” department. He falls in love with Aurora, whom he thinks is just a peasant, and boldly convinces his father to let him marry her despite his prearranged marriage to another Princess. Of course, it turns out Aurora IS the princess he was going to marry, so it doesn’t really matter, but still! Also, of all the Disney Princes, Prince Philip has to fight what is by far the scariest Disney monster of all time. Bonus points for being a kickass waltzer.

Cinderella’s Prince

Besides the fact that I totally dig his Austro-Hungarian uniform, Cinderella’s prince is definitely the most boring. Additionally, his outright refusal to marry, and his indifference to any girl at the ball besides Cinderella makes me wonder if he was a little more into her glass slippers than the girl herself…

Aladdin

Those pecs! That winsome personality! The love of animals! Aladdin is totally the best prince. He grew up in the ghetto so you know he’s humble, and he also appreciates his newly-found wealth more than someone who was born rich would. He’s exotic, he knows how to get through hard times, and he doesn’t come with a crazy mother-in-law. The best part, though? He wants to show you the world! Sigh.

What do you guys think? Which prince would you date in real life?

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