Truthfully, we’re not much ones for dating maxims — there’s an exception to every dating rule. Except for this one.

There are six seemingly innocent words that, when strung together to form a sentence, result in a near death-knell for any first dates. Once you say this word, it can be hard to recover from the inevitable downward spiral that occurs as a result.

When you are on a date with someone.
When you have asked someone out.
When you are trying to impress them.

Never, never,
ever, ever,
say:

“What do YOU Want To Do?”

Sounds pretty innocuous, right? Ah, but it’s not!

Here’s what’s fun: Dating.
Here’s what’s not fun: Planning things.
Here’s what’s the equivalent of hell: Endlessly planning things.

So, if you want to be a good dater (and a good person!) you will eliminate as much of the “planning” work for your date as possible, or at least facilitate fast and easy decisions. Because round after round of “What do you want to do?” “I dunno, what do YOU want to do?” “I’m fine with whatever.” “So what should we do?” is soul-sucking and demoralizing and will end in one or both people fervently wishing they had just stayed home with Netflix Instant.

1. Don’t Go On A Date Without A Plan
By the time you show up to a first date, both parties should have an idea of exactly what you’re going to do. This eliminates the awkwardness of standing outside, trying to figure out what to do, and lets you just go right in to the actual date. (And, by the way, “Let’s wander around aimlessly” is fine if you’ve planned to wander around aimlessly.”)

2. Have a Back-Up
Say you DO have a plan, but it’s raining/the movie is sold out/the restaurant is too crowded. Have a contingency plan that you can quickly go to the second your first option falls through.

3. Instead Of “What do you want to do?”, Suggest 2 Options.
Say you don’t have a back-up. Think of two generic options of what you can do, and suggest them. “Do you want to grab a drink nearby, or do you want to get some food?” At this point, your date can either choose one of your two options, or feel free to volunteer their own.

4. Just Make A Decision Already
People who don’t have opinions about anything are SO annoying. So, when making plans and presented with two options, do not, do not, do not(!) say “I don’t care.” Sure, it’s possible you really don’t care whether you eat Italian or Greek but for the love of God just choose one!

Originally published in January 2011.

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