Even though the world is (forgive me for this pun) swimming in shark facts thanks to the popularity of things like Shark Week, information about the shark dating scene is pretty scarce. They have to date, right? Even if it’s not a fraternity-pin-on-the-sweater kind of thing, there must be some sort of preternatural courtship before mating. Here’s some stuff sharks probably do together before estrus fully kicks in.

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Visit the Solomon and Fiji islands

A romantic swim around the islands would be an awesome date regardless of species, but sharks have extra incentive because it’s forbidden to eat shark flesh in both places. The chances of being eaten definitely factor into whether or not I think a date was successful, so I imagine it’s the same for sharks.

Crash dolphin parties

If sharks are the cool kid dropouts of the sea, dolphins are the precocious, obsequious nerds who suck up to humans by doing cute tricks (and occasionally  trying to rape them). So it goes without saying that sharks would totally cement their budding relationship by crashing a dolphin’s reef party and spiking the krill.

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Reminisce about times past

Both mud and whale sharks live a long time (up to 100 years), which means they have a lot of stories to share with each other. If the human nostalgia cycle is every 20 years, then God only knows what sharks are wistfully remembering right now. Steam excavators, maybe.

Attend whalesong concerts

The crazy light effects that naturally occur when sunlight hits the water and the ethereal minimalism of whalesong make for an ideal atmosphere for sharks to meet up and slow dance, or just trance out together and hold fins. If only they had shoes to gaze at.

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Kill stuff and eat it

I mean, they’re sharks. Kind of a no-brainer here.

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