Hello everybody! Selma and Kenny have been married for 72 years and they have shared the secret of the universe with us — how to stay together forever. I’m not sure these are the ones I would come up with, personally, if I had to pick only 5. (Or 6, depending on your counting system.) But I’m not the one who has been married for 72 years, so I’ll listen. And you should, too:

1

Be good to each other.

It’s tough to argue with this one. But how, Selma and Kenny? More info, pls.

 

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2

Make sure you have food in your Frigidaire. You do not want to be hungry or starved.

Totally. If my boyfriend hasn’t eaten in 2 hours he gets cranky and I begin to wonder if we are going to make it. Everything starts crumbling on an empty stomach.

3

Help each other in every way financially.

Solid advice, Selma and Kenny. But one question: when you’ve been married 72 years, do you still split the check?

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4

Always keep a clean house.

Right. But who are you talking to? Are you talking to me? I’ll direct this one to my boyfriend.

4a

Travel (but watch your husband because in Italy he might flirt with a woman who doesn’t have a top on. But if he does, take a picture).

YES!

Related: 10 Ways To Make Sure You Stay Together (That Aren’t Annoying Or Hard)

5

Don’t argue with each other.

But if you’re going to do it, be cute about it. And end your fight with a kind of awkward-yet-adorable smooch.

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