Guys, Girls! Can We Just Get One Thing Straight About Buying Someone A Drink?by Chiara Atik on December 03, 2010
Ok, is there anything more taxing on the soul and frustrating for the body than endless mental rounds of “is he/she or isn’t he/she interested?” It’s really hard in an age of flirty texts and friendly emails and cryptic FB updates to determine whether or not someone actually likes you, or whether they’re just being nice. So can we at least keep things simple in the bar?
The bar is hallowed grounds for dating. Previous generations didn’t have the internet, but they definitely had bars, and there are rules. Lately, people have been forgetting the rules. So let’s do a quick refresher:
For The Men: Don’t Buy A Girl A Drink Unless You’re Interested
Maybe you’re just having a great conversation, and you want to be polite and offer her a drink since you’re getting one anyway. That’s so gallant of you! Don’t do it.
What You Say: “Can I get you a drink?”
What She Hears: “I am interested in the possibility of having sex with you later, so please accept this beverage as a token of my esteem.”
For The Ladies: Don’t Accept A Drink Unless You’re Interested
Eh, he’s a nice guy, but there’s no way in hell you’re going home with him. That’s fine, but don’t abuse his interest and let him buy you drinks unless you offer to pay.
What You Say: “Sure, I’ll take a vodka soda.”
What He Hears: “Sure, I’ll take a vodka soda, after which should we go to my place or yours?”
If he insists, at least offer to pay for the next round.
What You Say: “Ok, then I’ll get the next one.”
What He Hears: “Ok, then I’ll get the next one. Because we are platonic friends, and that’s what platonic friends do.”
Yeah yeah yeah, there are always exceptions and nuances, etc etc. But if most people stuck to these tactics most of the time, think of how simple picking people up would be? Save the blurred lines for the rest of your life: keep bars holy.
[Yes, I've transgressed and accepted drinks from people I'm not interested in. Of course I have. But I promise not to do that anymore if you promise, too.]