1. Don’t Be Too Subtle
In the (way) post-Sex and the City climate of 2012, there seems to be a pervasive fear among women of looking desperate. And with good reason: desperation is definitely not sexy.

But so intense is this fear of coming on too strong, that more and more women are forgetting to come on at all. Some of us are playing it way too cool when it comes to dating.

If you’re one of those women who constantly finds herself stuck in the friend zone, or who doesn’t get asked for her number at the end of a great conversation, or who doesn’t get kissed at the end of a first date, you might be too subtle of a flirt.

Next time you like someone, make sure they know you like them! Smile, flirt, engage in physical contact, and if you’re feeling brave, initiate the kiss yourself.

And most importantly, stop waiting around to be asked out, and do some of the asking yourself!

Related: The Little Dating Tip That Works for Everyone
2. Break Up With the Ex, For Good.
That ex. The one that, if you’re being really honest, still manages to have an inexplicable hold on you. The one who’ll text you out of the blue and throw your whole life in disarray. The one that you’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to be “just friends” with for years. The one who you inevitably end up talking about to anyone who will listen, even though it’s been a long time now.

You aren’t dating. You shouldn’t waste so much mental energy on that person, and you know it. Break up for good, and move on with your life.

Related: “I Like You, You’re Really Great, But…” The Danger of Wafflers3. Be Nice to the Guy (or Girl!) You Know is in Love With You
Almost every woman on the planet has one: the poor chap who’s always around, always hoping that one day you’ll realize that you’ve been in love with him all along.

When friends point out that he’s totally in love with you, you brush it off and insist you’re just friends. You tell yourself you’re being nice to him. You don’t consciously lead him on.

But sometimes, after a particularly disappointing date or stinging heartbreak or arid dry spot, it’s nice to be able to text or email him something flirty, just to feel special and wanted again. So you keep him around.

Fine if he has other things going on, and you guys have come to a sort of mutual understanding that it’s never going to happen. But if you think there’s any chance that you’re stringing him along, or that he’s waiting for you, you’ve got to let him go.

Better for him to be the perfect boyfriend for someone else, than the occasional ego-boost for you.

Related: The 9 Types of Pre-Exclusive Relationships
4. Say “Yes” to More Dates
Okay, maybe you’re not totally feeling it because, well, sure he’s nice but his bald spot is…really bald, and, I dunno, you’re just not instantly sexually attracted to him.

Say yes anyway. Say yes to one date! What, you’re soooo amazing that some guys don’t even get a chance with you?

The guy with the bald spot, or the bad sneakers, or the weird voice, or slightly alarming t-shirt collection might end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to you. He might! And what’s more, in 2012 you should be opening yourself up to more opportunities for love to find you than shutting the door to them. This means saying yes to more first dates. You can have coffee with anyone for half an hour — it won’t kill you.

Related: The One Date Rule: Why I’ll Go Out With Anyone Who Asks Me5. Listen to Your Friends
Girls who have managed to date a guy for more than 5 consecutive dates sometimes tend to become mighty protective and defensive of their burgeoning relationship. They’ll tentatively ask their friends what they thought of their new beau, but the answer sure as hell better be “He’s great!”

But when a friend seems concerned about an aspect of your relationship, don’t immediately bristle and change the subject. He or she has seen you through relationships before, and has a good idea of what works for you, and what doesn’t, what’s alarming, and what isn’t.

Your friends want to see you happy. If they think a significant other is sort of a jerk to you, or think something is weird, don’t immediately dismiss their opinion.