The Art of Seduction: A Step-by-Step Guide

Dita von Teese recently gave a Daily Mail a “master class in seduction.” Some of her tips are a little hard to take seriously at first, but once you stop focusing on the silly details, you might be surprised at how effective her seduction strategy really is.

Step One: Get The Proper Attire
“All women should have a perfect-fitting black lace bra, with matching panties — string and brief — and a good suspender belt.” Says Dita.

Bra: $39.95, GapBody
Briefs: $12.95, GapBody
(Technically these are navy, but, come on. No one can tell in the dark.)

I actually had to google “suspenders” which probably says a good deal about my knowledge of the “art of seduction.”

These are from Agent Provocateur and cost approximately a billion dollars. (Well, anywhere from $90 to $300.) Victoria’s Secret mercifully sells them for $19.

Also, if you, like me, weren’t exactly sure what the garters are supposed to hold up, you’ll probably need to invest in some tights. I mean, ‘stockings.’

Step 2: Lipstick
“Apply lipstick in full view of your victim. This is particularly effective when done slowly and with a pretty compact,” commands Dita.

The only compact I’m familiar with is the Mayflower Compact of 1620, but Google comes to the rescue once again and informs me that Dita means a small mirror.

There are some pretty sweet compacts for sale on eBay, but I wonder how necessary this is to the art of seduction. Won’t a guy be more focused on your lips than the compact you’re holding?

Step 3: Wear Perfume
“Make him lean in to smell it,” Dita advises.

Apply the perfume to your pulse points: neckline, wrists, behind the ears, and behind the knees. It sounds weird, but these spots cause the perfume to mix with your body chemistry, perfect for seduction. (Don’t overdo it, and for god’s sake don’t use the “cloud” method where you spray a cloud of scent and walk through it.)

Step 4: Dangle Your Stiletto From Your Foot
Obviously, this isn’t going to work with winter boots or Converse, so the larger point is: choose seductive footwear.

Not for every day, mind you, but you probably have some holiday party coming up that calls for a slightly more delicate shoe.

Badgley Mischka Calton Shoe, $139, DSW

Now, no need to get ridiculous with the foot dangling here — the shoes themselves will go a long way in making you feel more seductive.

But at the end of the night, when everyone’s had a few drinks and ties are both figuratively and literally loosened, if you find yourself sitting down, try just dangling the shoe of one foot. Maybe you’ll feel stupid, but maybe you’ll feel sexy: you won’t know until you try it.

Step 5: Practice On Your Own
“Before I go to bed at night I practice taking off my clothes glamorously. Every time I remove a stocking, I do it in exactly the same way I would on stage.”

Okay, so that sounds a little deranged. There’s no way we’re actually going to recommend you come home from a long day of work and take off your fleece-lined leggings like you’re Gypsy Rose Lee.

But you know how when you’re with a boyfriend sometimes you can feel silly doing something that should be sexy, and you end up giggling rather than seducing? Sure, awkwardness has its charm, but part of the issue is that you don’t feel comfortable or confident acting in a seductive manner because you only ever pull it out when you’re with someone. If you practice comporting yourself in a slightly more elegant (and, sure, seductive) manner on your own time, being sexy will become something you are, not just an act you put on around guys.

In the end, “the art of seduction” isn’t about seducing guys at all, but rather getting to a point where you feel comfortable with your sexuality, where the idea of seducing someone at all doesn’t make you want to laugh. It all comes down to the golden rule of dating: confidence is the most seductive trait of all.