7 Tips for Navigating the Dating World in Your 30s & 40sby Ann, Pat and Tish -- The Garter Brides on November 29, 2011
Editor’s note: Ann, Pat and Tish are the authors of LOVE FOR GROWN-UPS: The Garter Brides’ Guide to marrying For Life When You’ve Already Got a Life, a relationship guide for women over 35 on how to meet Mr. Right, marry and find life-long happiness.
Dating in your 30s, 40s and over isn’t anything like dating in your 20s. At this point, you are looking to combine your full and demanding life with someone special. You’re not growing up together –- you are already grown-ups! And that’s good news. You know who you are and what you want.
As one Garter Bride said, “By the time I met my husband I was comfortable just being me. If guys like me fine — if not, not. When I’m with him I can just be who I am, which is so liberating. In your 30s you are more comfortable in your skin, and even more so in your 40s.
Here are a few more tips from THE GARTER BRIDES to help you navigate the dating world after 30:
• Don’t believe it when people say that men are only looking for 25-year-olds. That’s not true –- and any man who is, is not for you. As Garter Bride Ann says, “An eligible man is looking for the same thing you are – intelligence, companionship and great sex!”
• Keep your checklist in pencil. Don’t be trapped by “must haves.” Be flexible and give a new man a chance.
• Be honest on your online profile and use a current photo. That may seem obvious, but, it isn’t to everyone. If you have children, say so – it’s important information.
• Even if you’re tired of dating, or just tired with all the demands on your time, you must take time to date. Even if you take a break, get back to it and don’t give up.
• Check your anger at the door. So many women are disappointed that they haven’t met someone or still angry about past relationships. Let it go. Look at him with an eye towards the future, not the past.
• Relax. Plan something that’s going to be fun! Laughter is the best ice-breaker.
• Go against type. Garter Bride Pat says, “If you put my husband and I on paper you would have said it would never work! Am I glad I went on that date!”
And finally, consider what’s important to you and what makes you happy. After interviewing countless women who married after the age of 35, they all agreed that in their twenties they were looking for tall, dark and handsome. As mature women they wanted more substance. As one women so wisely said, “I wanted character over charisma.”
It can happen to you. Remember, one date can change your life.