Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird: I Keep Dreaming About My Lesbian Friendby Chiara Atik on November 21, 2011
Are you weird about dating? We’re here to help you figure it out! Just email us a question and we’ll tell you, as honestly as we possibly can, whether or not we think (whatever it is) is weird. Today’s topic: dreaming about someone you can’t have.
Daryl, a 25 year old straight guy from LA, says:
“I’ve had 2 dreams about me gettin’ it in with a lesbian friend of mine. First dream was somewhat light, second was graphic and intense. What does this mean other than I think she’s attractive? Could it be just the challenge I like? Am I the only one this has happened to?”
Daryl, you’re definitely not weird: lesbians rate pretty highly among male fantasies. And if your friend is attractive, then the fact that she is also sexually unavailable to you just makes her all the more appealing, in the way that a kid might be attracted to his teacher or his friend’s mom. The forbidden is hot.
Because this is your subconscious acting, you don’t have a lot of control over your fantasies. This is fine! Your subconscious is supposed to be a lot looser than you are. There’s nothing wrong with having dreams about anyone, and the fact that you’re so concerned proves that you’re a pretty sensitive, in-touch guy to begin with. You really have nothing to worry about.
That having been said, it’s important that one thing remains absolutely clear: you can dream about this girl all you want, but it is not okay to act on this impulse, right? Don’t hit on her, don’t try to seduce her, don’t say anything to her. If you respect her at all as a friend and as a person, your fantasies will stay strictly in your head.