Tell Me If You’ve Heard This One Before: The 9 Most Common Excuses For Dumping Someoneby Chiara Atik on September 08, 2011
If you think about it, there’s a relatively finite number of reasons for a couple to call it quits. Yahoo.it has a pretty good roundup of the most popular reasons, which we’ve translated below. You’ll be surprised at how many you’ve heard (or said!) before…
1. “You deserve someone better.”
Probably true, but shouldn’t we get to decide?
2. “I love you too much.”
How melodramatic. Now what’s the real reason?
3. “I’ve cheated on you.”
Yikes! This one definitely hurts to hear, but in some ways is far preferable than one of the shoddier excuses on this list. As painful as it is, at least this person respects you enough to tell you the truth — and isn’t afraid of being the “villain” and dealing with the consequences.
4. “We’re not on the same wavelength anymore.”
As excuses go, this one is relatively valid: he or she obviously doesn’t feel like your priorities match up anymore. (You might disagree.) Diverging hobbies, interests, and lifestyles are the culprits here. This reason is most common among couples who have been together from a young age or for a long time, and have grown apart.
5. “I need time and space.”
This might be hard for the injured party to understand because it’s so vague. (“Okay, I can give you time! I can give you space! Just don’t break up with me!” is the typical response.) Still, sometimes people really do just need a bit of distance in order to figure out their life, and as nebulous as “time and space” seems, it’s the best articulation they can give.
6. “I need to discover my sexual identity.”
Okay, maybe people don’t often use those exact terms. But sex is frequently a reason for breakups, whether it’s to explore angles of their sexuality they aren’t able to in a relationship, or just to sow some wild oats before settling down to something long-term. And sometimes, a partner really is questioning their sexual orientation.
7. “We’re moving too quickly.”
Something, whether it’s the amount of time you spend together, or the rapidity of milestones passed (meeting the parents? shelves at each other’s places?) is freaking him or her out. Whatever the reason, they aren’t ready for a serious relationship.
8. “I have to find myself.”
Have you been a couple for so long (or at such a high intensity) that you even think in terms of “we,” rather than “I?” This can be terrifying! No one wants to lose him or herself in a relationship, and feeling like more of a twosome than an individual can definitely lead to a breakup.
9. “I have to concentrate on work.”
Maybe they feel like they need to give themselves 100% to their career right now, and being distracted by a relationship will only hold them back. Whether this is true or not, they obviously don’t feel like a relationship with you is helpful, supportive, or conducive to their professional life. Try to figure out why, and remember it for your next relationship.