Emoticons For Dating, Sexting, And Playing Hard To Get

When emoticons were first invented, the world was a safer, simpler place. A smiley face was totally efficient way of responding to AOL chats, such as “Got a B+ on my bio test!”, while a sad face was the perfect response for “Gotta get offline, my mom’s expecting a call.”

But now, technology — and the dating world — is different. Does a frown face really convey the horror of getting an unprompted dick pic? Does a slanted-mouth face (:-/) accurately express the chagrin and skepticism you feel when your friend texts to tell you she’s back with her ex?

The Hairpin has a list of “Emoticons We Need in These Troubled Times“, which are both apt and hilarious. Can we get some designers on this, stat?