Jealous You’re Not At Cannes? Go On A Movie Hopping Date.by Scott Alden on May 13, 2011
By now you’ve seen pictures from the 2011 Cannes Film Festival and you’ve got every reason to be upset. A whole bunch of famous people — nay, legends of the screen — just hanging out all day, watching movies and partying…it drives you insane with jealousy, right?
Well, are you going to
mope blog about it all day, or are you going to do something about it?
A Movie-Hopping Date is the perfect cure for the not-at-Cannes blues and and you’ll have way more fun than hanging out with a bunch of stuffy celebrities all day. Here’s the perfect formula.
1. Get a little drunk
A boozy brunch, a martini lunch or a happy hour beforehand will set the party mood and it will give you and your date a chance to know each other before you spend 6 hours watching movies. I’m not saying you should sneak alcohol into a movie theater, because that would be illegal, but a little nip of Jack Daniels will fit comfortably in your underwear and tastes great with a giant, over-priced Coke. Just be careful not to get so tipsy that it impairs the cat-like stealth you’ll need to sneak from theater to theater unnoticed.
2. Be Cool
Don’t stand there in front of the ticket booth planning your strategy. Just buy a ticket for whatever’s starting soon and figure it out once you’re in.
3. Choose Movies That You Don’t Care That Much About
I know you’ve been dying to see Hesher, but now is not the time. Blockbusters, teen sex comedies, whatever vampire movie is out now — the dumber the better. Popular movies like these also play constantly, in multiple theaters. A trio like Insidious, Prom and Fast Five works well.
4. Be Smart
Slightly illicit activities always make great dates, but not if you get busted by some brace-faced teenage usher with an axe to grind. Check the hallways for “the fuzz.” If it’s all clear, DO NOT HESITATE. Duck right into the next theater and settle in.
If it’s crawling with theater staff, hit the bathroom first, and wait til the coast is clear. Text your date from the stall and arrange to meet in the next theater. You’ll be less conspicuous if you enter separately.
5. If You Get Caught
Admit nothing. In fact, you and your date should pretend that you don’t speak English. They’ll probably just let you stay, but if they mention “police” just casually wave your hands and say “No. No policia,” and quickly make your way out of the theater.
Sound fun? It is! A movie hopping date is both relaxed and adventurous with plenty of room for conspiratorial bonding. You can ask someone out on this date here, but if it you get busted, you never even heard of HowAboutWe. Got it?