Wiping Sweat Off Their Faces With Their Shirts

It’s no secret that sweating guys are eye candy, and sweaty boys will inevitably need to wipe their brow — so, this is the reason I watch sports, sometimes. When I wipe sweat off my face, I look frenzied and exhausted and gross and grossed out at the same time. Guys usually have a determined look in their eyes, they exude a sense of accomplishment over whatever feat they just performed that caused them to sweat in the first place. What I just said is not always true but you must forgive me — I am turned on by sweaty men. Plus, in order to wipe their faces with their shirts they have to lift up their shirts. And besides guys walking around in crop tops, I can’t think of anything dreamier. Boys, I’d like to remind you that August 26 is National Topless Day. Plan your “outfits” accordingly.

Plus: 10 Things I Want To Eat Off Cristiano Ronaldo’s Abs

Being Incredibly Honest

Showing vulnerability is pretty hot, and being honest about something unexpected is definitely a turn-on. Admitting a fear or something embarrassing makes a guy seem more human, not uncool. The kind of human I want to get super close to.

Asking Good Questions

Hot. Damn. If I could give one gem of advice to a guy on a date, it’d be to just ask girls good questions. Don’t just fire away WhoWhatWhereWhenWhy, use follow up questions to show interest. Ask the question that takes that extra second of thinking. Ask the question nobody else would ask. Ask the question you feel like answering. It makes girls interested back. And turned on, too.

Writing Things By Hand

Nobody writes letters anymore, which means a) guys have terrible, childlike handwriting (which is adorable), and b) seeing a guy’s handwriting is like seeing a lunar eclipse. Seeing a guy’s handwriting makes me think he actually thought out the words, instead of allowing his fingers to just hover on autopilot over his keyboard. Plus, it’s so hot to meet a guy who understands the power of words and how to use them to woo your face off.

Plus: The 100 Qualities All Boyfriends Should Possess

Making Eye Contact

A guy can turn me on like an automatic switch by looking me in the eyes. Eye contact is totally underrated.

Chopping Vegetables

Guys who know their way around a kitchen are hot, and watching them chop vegetables is probably the modern equivalent to watching them get in sword fights, just more peaceful-like. It’s having sharp skills to accomplish a delicate task — whether that be slicing a garlic bulb into thin little discs for a delicious artichoke dish, or slicing an opponent’s head off. The latter, I’ve never witnessed in real life, but I’m open to the idea that that is a turn on, too.

Chopping Down Shit With Chain Saws

Or anything that I don’t know how to do or won’t do myself. This includes changing oil in cars (or whatever people do to cars) and playing soccer. To be quite honest, I get pretty turned on when girls do this shit, too.

Tipping Well

Hot. Damn. If I could give two gems of advice to a guy on a date, it’d be to just ask girls good questions, and to tip well. Being a generous tipper is one of the easiest “good person” flags there is, other than saving puppies from burning cars, which is fortunately a pretty rare occurence. But if I could give three gems of advice to a guy on a date, it’d be to just ask girls good questions, tip well, and save puppies from burning cars. That’s it, guys! And you complain about how hard it is to please us!

Being Kind To Their Moms

Time to make some rash generalization: most people are the most honest versions of themselves with their moms. They can get cranky with their moms because their moms will love them anyway, they don’t really have to impress their moms for their love, and their moms have seen them through everything, every shitty little thing. So if they can treat their moms well, they are good people, and who deserves to get laid more than a good person? Who? It’s easy to get frustrated with your mom, but a guy who can show love to her just earned twenty hot points. (On a scale of I-don’t-know-what.)

Plus: 50 Reasons New York City Is The Best Date City In The World

Pumping Gas

Maybe it’s because I’m from Ohio, land of driving everywhere, and seeing guys pump gas reminds me of those brawny midwestern boys. I didn’t like those boys when I actually lived in the midwest, and I never even noticed guys pumping gas until I moved to New York City. Now when I see it happening, I feel like it is an overt sign of flirtation. Like, I start blushing. On second thought, maybe it’s because they have to reach into their back pockets to pull out their wallets which forces me to look at their butts. Or maybe it’s the sexy combo of biceps + phallic hose + tight grip. Or maybe it’s unexplainable — like most of the stuff on the list. It just is.